双鱼座

看过很多关于双鱼的各种传说，分析，解释。似乎无一例外的把双鱼当作了一个女人的星座，动不动就是流眼泪，唉声叹气。可惜可叹，如果双鱼真的只是这样的一个星座，那么可以说没有一个人愿意去做双鱼，而历史上也不会有什么著名的双鱼人物了。


最本质的部分：思考

双鱼座的最本质特点是什么？善良？懦弱？温柔？不是，我告诉你，是思考（在很多情况下，是过多的思考）。
是的，双鱼座的一切特性，都来自于他过多的思考，或许世上没有第二个星座比双鱼座更能洞察别人的心理，更能分析事情的本质。
你可以称之为敏感，但是一旦这种敏感能够正确的使用，那么没有人能比双鱼座更快的学会人情事故，在这一方面，有一个双鱼座的伟人做的尤其出色，他的名字是周恩来。
　　
因为思考的太多，所以双鱼座的人就算不是真正善良的，也至少是表面善良的。对于双鱼来说，善良与其说是本质，不如说是双鱼喜欢的一种生活方式，以善良的方式活着，是轻松而又受人尊敬的，一般的双鱼座很早就能洞察到这一点。
　　
再谈谈温柔，这一点，不管是哪篇文章，都不会忘了提双鱼座的温柔。是的，双鱼的确是温柔的。因为双鱼总能敏感的体会到对方的细微变化，时刻了解到对方心 意的转变，表现在行动上，就是能尽快的知道，什么时候应该为女孩披上自己的外衣，什么时候应该停下手里的活，转过身去和女友好好的说话。
　　

与众不同的部分：信仰

双鱼的信仰就是没有信仰！
在双鱼的世界里面，没有绝对的对和错，如果发生了一件事，他第一件做的事情是去理解这件事，去分析这件事，而不是去判断这件事是对的还是错的。
下面引用一段话说明双鱼的这个特点：
“鱼座男人没有偏见，没有亲自穿著鹿皮走几哩路，他不会评断印地安人；没有试试赤脚走路，他也不会评断裸体主义者。甚至这些做了，他还是会满心谅解而不 会过于批评。他很少冷酷的指控，倒是每每温暖的忍耐，他甚至会试试了解他的岳母，天底下有几个男人能这样？海王子拥有罕见的同情精神，他的朋友向他吐露秘 密而从不担忧会把他吓著，要吓到鱼起码需要两吨以上的炸弹。如果你和我以及你的鱼儿三人同坐一室，一个男人走进来告诉我们他有些担忧，因为他重婚，在四个 州各有一个老婆，你可能眼睛瞪得大大瞧他，冒著火，心想监狱是最适合他的地方，我可能鄙夷的说他是个卑鄙的流氓，但你的鱼儿很可能问：“那四州？你爱不爱 她们其中任何一个？”鱼很好奇，但防震。对他来说，这个家伙需要一缸子同情以及好得要命的律师。”
　　
有一位伟人利用了这点特性，结果成就了科学史上的神话，他就是爱因斯坦。
　　

双鱼的致命缺点：懦弱


现实中的双鱼座确实给人太多的失望，懦弱，多疑，自卑，优柔寡断，没有主见......一个双鱼座或许没有上面全部的特点，但至少会有一，二个。就算是伟大如周恩来，有时候难免有些优柔寡断和没有主见，当然，这种时候不多。
　　
造成双鱼座优柔寡断的原因很简单。因为同样一个选择，在一个射手看来，只需要考虑2样东西，但是在双鱼看来，却需要考虑10样东西，因为他想的实在是太 多了。简单的说一句话，双鱼都会想到它会给周围的人带来多少种不同的影响，它会让人对自己有怎么样的看法，会不会造成误解。（虽然很多时候，双鱼会冲动的 把一些话脱口而出）
　　
至于多疑，这点和自卑联系的比较紧密。虽然双鱼座能轻易的了解对方的意图，看透事情的真相，但是却往往 不能坚持住自己的观点，这种不能坚持大多数是因为双鱼座自己不愿接受这个事实，也有很多时候是因为双鱼对自己不够自信。关于前一点，比较突出的一个例子 是，双鱼座的女孩不到男孩子直截了当的告诉她，他不爱她了，女孩就总是还抱有一线希望，虽然女孩心里明白的很。

懦弱呢？关于这点，和信仰联系在一起。你一定觉得很奇怪，懦弱和信仰又有什么关系呢？
信仰是种很可怕的力量，他可以让一个人做出平时不敢做的事情，拥有不该拥有的勇气，牺牲不该牺牲的东西。而双鱼恰恰是没有一丁点信仰的，就算有，也不过 是为了给生活加一点调味剂，或是给自己找一个避难所。对于双鱼来说，自己能过舒适，安稳的日子，比什么都重要。富贵如浮云，最想的开这点的就是双鱼座了。 至于爱国什么的，酒饱饭足的双鱼可以慷慨激昂，也会不惜重金施于，但是只是建立在自己有好日子过的前提下。
接下来，可以解释下双鱼的懦弱了。
只要能让自己和爱人平平安安，有什么不可以忍受的呢？什么尊严，什么气节，见鬼去吧。

所以只要不把双鱼逼到绝境，你尽可以嘲弄双鱼的懦弱。每条鱼的忍受 范围都不同，但一般都比正常人多那么一点点。但是如果你不小心让一条鱼觉得无路可走了，那么你真的要小心了。鱼可以践踏人间一切法律，无视所有道理，更不 会考虑自己的尊严和人格。你务必要相信这一点，虽然这种时候很少，但那只不过是因为上帝不想让人们经常看到地狱的惨状。

双鱼的最大优点：感情


与其说双鱼是个为爱情而活的星座，不如说双鱼是个为感情而活的星座。
对于双鱼来说，世界上最重要的东西是感情，一条精神上满足的鱼，可以没有其他东西，就已经是最幸福的人（当然，绝大多数情况下，没有其他东西，很难精神上满足）。
任何感情对于双鱼来说都是重要的，爱情很重要，但不见得会比亲情更重要，在双鱼的眼中。
　　
对于鱼来说，感情是单纯的，是单独的。鱼可以原谅对方的一切，只要那个人是真心对他好的。你可以十恶不赦，可以吃喝嫖赌，可以之前是人尽可夫的妓女，可 以是个卑鄙无耻的骗子，都可以原谅，只要鱼能确定你是真心的喜欢他，对他好。但是请注意一点，大部分的鱼都比你聪明，不要以为你的小伎俩可以骗到鱼，你是 不是真心喜欢他，他比谁都清楚。
　　
对于一个男孩子来说，双鱼女孩能给你对于一个女孩子想要的一切，温柔，爱你不顾一切，可爱（很多时候是装的，鱼大多数是很聪明的），体贴......
对于一个女孩子来说，双鱼男孩....嗯..... 看你的运气了，如果你遇到的鱼是个没有志气，不


想做事，玩玩乐乐的鱼，而且他已经25岁左右了，那么好心的提醒你，还是尽早离开他吧。除非你是个富婆，或 者你只是找个情人（没有人比双鱼更适合做情人了：安全快乐而无副作用）。否则，你会经历世间最凄凉的婚姻和生活，阿门................
　　
那么如果你遇到的鱼是有事业心，能上进，肯做事的鱼，或者干脆就是事业有成的鱼，那么
真的是恭喜你，你是千万少女中最幸运的一 个，再挑剔的女人也无法对一个有上进心有事业的鱼有更多的要求了。你可以得到世界上一切的温柔和快乐，包括用钱买的到的和用钱买不到的，鱼很乐意把他的一 切奉献给他爱的人，看到他爱的人开心，他会更开心。大部分的鱼的“一切”仅仅只有感情，而没有物质，但是我们现在讨论的是最优秀的那种鱼，那种能随时把名 望和财富送给你的鱼，现在你知道你有多幸运了吧。


提到感情不得不提的：公平

很奇怪吗？公平对于双鱼来说，是个很重要的单词。

双鱼没有普遍意义上的价值观，是非观，你不能用这件事这样做是对的，那样做是错的来说服一个双鱼座。永远记住，鱼的世界里很少有对错。
那么鱼又是怎么来处理他和别人（尤其是爱人的关系）呢？就是公平。
　　
如果鱼曾经有过十几，二十个女朋友，那么他就不会在意你以前有过多少个男朋友，如果鱼一个不小心跑出去玩了一夜情，那么你一夜情的时候，他也会选择无所谓
好 吧，就算你的鱼纯情的一塌糊涂，你是他（她）的第一次，他也可以原谅你的曾经花心，一时花心，可能会的花心，只要你能用足够的关心和真心的喜欢弥补。鱼大 致兑换了下你的关心（兑换比例只有天知道了，呵呵），如果觉得双方大致公平的（相对于他对于你的感情付出），那么他就无所谓，就会原谅你。
　　
所以和鱼相处是件很简单的事情，只要你能保证你给他的和他为你付出的差不多多，就可以了。至于伦理道德嘛...嗯，讲真的，鱼从来不是教条主义者。
　　
反过来，如果你让鱼觉得你对他的关心不够多，对他的爱不够多（不够多是指没有他给你的多），那么鱼会在痛苦之后，也相应的减少对你的关心和爱，不要怀疑，这方面，鱼比谁都表现的现实和斤斤计较。

感情中的完美主义
　　
鱼在意的东西很少，所以很不幸，鱼对于他在意的东西就是完美主义者的态度。
　　
对于鱼来说，完美的情人不是忠贞不二的情人，不是事业爱情兼顾的情人，也不是外形完美的情人。鱼要求的是“完美的爱”。
　　
你可以不经常说我爱你，但是你说的时候，一定要是真心实意。 　
你可以很少陪他逛街，但是你陪的时候，一定要是真的开开心心。
你也可以对他说很少的情话，但是你要保证，你对别人说的情话更少，而且你对他说的是真心的话。
　　
对于鱼来说，欺骗和做作是最不可原谅的。很多人以为简简单单的对鱼说几句我爱你，固定性的发些短信问候鱼，经常为鱼买些好东西就能让鱼觉得被爱了。真不 幸，大部分鱼都聪明过了头，一般都能轻松辨别那些举动是真心的，那些不过是手段（如果你曾经用这些手段征服过双鱼女生，也别得意，只不过是双鱼女生比男生 更难以拒绝别人而已）。
　　
所以，请诚实一点对待鱼，爱他多少就给他多少，他也会给你同样多。这至少比他生你的气好的多，不是吗？
　　

双鱼真的浪漫吗？


所有的星座解释都会说双鱼是浪漫的，但是所有和双鱼（特别是双鱼男生，一般浪漫都是指男生做的事情）接触过的人，都往往感觉不到双鱼的浪漫，到底是为什么呢？难道双鱼并不浪漫？
　　
我给你个肯定的答案，双鱼绝对浪漫，他脑子里面的浪漫点子不仅包含了所有好莱坞大片的经典场景，还有更多他自己的原创镜头，他时不时的都在幻想浪漫的场面，一个鱼可能在他18的时候就开始想他30岁结婚的布置。
　　
那么为什么现实中是两样呢？因为2点，自卑和善良。
前一点很好理解，大部分的浪漫需要自信。很多时候，不是鱼不想浪漫，而是不好意思和没胆子那么做，你能理解是吧，呵呵。
　　
那么自信的鱼呢？为什么他也不浪漫？
因为他没有遇到合适的人，因为他善良。
　　
双鱼的爱情大部分是有些被动的。鱼总是轻易的喜欢上一个女孩子（注意，我用的单词是喜
欢），然后开始和这个女孩开始交往，然后十有八九，会发现这个女孩 不是能给自己完美的爱的女孩（这是肯定的，遇到最合适自己的人哪有那么容易），鱼很现实的知道，他和这个女孩不可能有将来的，2个人能拥有只能是一段回 忆。那么对鱼来说，绝大部分的情话都会说不出口，因为鱼自己知道这些话都是骗人的，很多浪漫的举动做不出来，因为鱼不敢让女孩陷的太深，怕分手的那一天女 孩太伤心。很多人说处女，金牛的人想的多，其实鱼想的并不比他们少，只不过犹犹豫豫又舍不得的鱼，就算明了的知道和女孩没有将来，也不会点破，只会静静的 维持，享受拥有的每一天。但是这样的情况下，鱼的善良就让鱼忍住了很多浪漫的情话和行动。
　　
我这么说是不是显的鱼很高尚？呵呵，没有什么真正高尚的人。鱼能如此的为女孩着想，是因为这么做能让鱼觉得自己很伟大，有一种悲剧式的美感，鱼愿意让自己沉浸在这种自我的意淫中。
　　
当然，这样至少比不顾别人的死活，只图自己开心要好的多是不是？所以还是应该为鱼们鼓鼓掌的。
　　
所以，如果有一天，你看到一条浪漫无比的鱼，不要怀疑，他已经认定你们有个美好的未来，他已经知道他不会给你太多的伤心了，那你还犹豫什么？上去拥抱你的幸福吧。

结语：什么样是好的双鱼？

双鱼有很多缺点，但是大多数都可以原谅。除了2条，懒惰和犹豫。
　　
而双鱼要成为一条好鱼，所需要的东西很简单，事业。
　　
其实不用去提醒鱼们其他的事情了，他们自己都能想明白。只需能保证鱼能稳步进行他们的事业就可以了。
　　
一旦鱼用心去赚钱了，那么他肯定能赚到钱。但是这一点很难，真的很难，如果有一天，你看到一条生龙活虎的鱼，千万不要放过，好好的捆住他，很有可能，他会带给你所有的梦想.

What to do?

I am too free now...
Although i have something to do..
but...
I am lazy to do it..
Because...
It is not really important...

Long time i didn't have this kind of feeling...
Too free until dunno what to do...

I asked myself..
Am i bored?
My answer is no...

Can i sleep now?
My answer is no...
Sad to say that i am used to sleep late...

As a conclusion,
I feel uneasy...

What?

Sometimes...it is really confused...
Sometime...it hurts...
Sometimes...it is tiring...
Sometimes...i don't really care about it...

Am i a great friend?
Am i satisfied all my friends?
Am i very selfish?
Am i wrong?

What is the best way?
Who do you think you are?
What is your problem?
What do you want from me?

I am shocked...
I am speechless...
I don't know how to move on...
I don't really want to involve in it...

Can i left halfway?
Can i just keep quiet?
Can i pretend that nothing happened?
Can i scold you?

You think you are right in everything?
You think i am on your side?
You know how i feel?
You want me to tell you the truth?

No...i will keep it as my secret...
No...i won't share with anyone...
No...i want you to wake up...
No...i am not like what you think...

So...let the time to prove it...

L-O-V-E

something to share from email.....

To my friends who are single...
love is like a butterfly...
the more u chase it, the more it eludes u...
but if u just let it fly, it will come to u when u least expect it...
love can make u happy but often it hurts...
but love is only special when u give it to someone who is really worth it...
take ur time n choose the best...

To my friends who are not so single...
love isn't about becoming somebody else's perfect person...
it is about finding someone who helps u become the best person u can be...

To my friends who are engaged...
the true measure of compatibility is not the years spent togather...
but is how good u r for each other...

To my friends who are married...
love is not about "it is ur fault", but "i am sorry"
not "where r u", but "i'm right here for u"...
not "how could u", but "i understand"...
not "i wish u were", but "i m thankful u r"...

To my friends who are heartbroken...
heartbreaks last as long as u want...
and cut as deep as u allow them to go...
the challenge is not how to survive heartbreaks...
but to learn from them...

To my friends who are naive...
be consistent but not too persistent...
share n never b unfair...
understand n try not to demand...

To my friends who are possesive...
it breaks ur heart to see the one u love....happy with someone else...
but it is more painful to know that the one u love...is unhappy with u...

To my friends who are afraid of confess...
love hurts when u break up with someone...
it hurts even more when someone breaks up with u...
but, love hurts the most...
is when the person u love has no idea how u feel about him/her...

To my friends who are still holding on...
a sad thing about life is when u meet someone...
n fall in love...
only find out the end that it was never meant to be...
n that u have wasted years on someone who wasn't worth it...

Who else but a friend is there...

to believe in you,

to share your joys ,

to dry your tears ,

to give you hope ,

to comfort your hurts ,

to listen ,

to laugh with you ,

to show you a better way ,

to tell you the truth ,

to encourage you .

Who else can do that for you ?

That's what friends are for .

曖昧不是愛情 ……

你们认识很久,你满心欢喜，你开始心怀期待,就连做梦都会笑出来,可是他就是什么也不说,你对自己说等等再等等,直到有一天你看到他身边有了另一个身影,你震惊"不是...这是....我是.....？"

在朋友眼里你们很登对,每次聚会他做你的护花使者责无旁贷,你也发现自己对他有了些些的依赖,朋友关于你们之间无伤大雅的玩笑让你觉得很甜蜜。就在你以为一切都将水到渠成的时候睛 天霹雳,他说他从没对你有过这种想法他说这是你的误会。

你呆住了"误会？.....竟...竟然是...误会.....？"

伤心吗?难过吗?痛苦吗?只是,只是谁让你把暧昧当爱情呢？

这是个暧昧横行的年代,感情出现的第三个种类,比友情深比爱情浅，游走于二者的边缘这就是暧昧,是什么时候开始本应是明明朗朗的爱情成了一场麓战,谁先动心谁就满盘皆输万劫不复。是谁把简单复杂化……

其实说穿了
暧昧,是可以推脱责任的游戏,没有承诺就无需负责;

暧昧,是勇敢者的游戏,无畏的人才能在角逐中进退自如;

如果你没有铁石铸就的心肠做软胃甲,那么你就别拿暧昧当爱情...

暧昧是，比好朋友再亲一点，但比情人远一点。

暧昧是, 有感觉，然而，这种感觉不足以叫你们切切实实地发展一段正式的关系。

暧昧是, 明白人生有太多的无奈，现实有太多的限制。你知道没有可能，但又舍不得放手。

暧昧是, 有进一步的冲动，却没有进一步的勇气。

暧昧是，他不是你的情人，但似乎他比你的情人更关心你和了解你。

暧昧是，别人问你们是否恋爱中，你张口结舌。

暧昧是，常常挣扎表不表白。你怕表白之后，你既得不到一个情人，却又失去了一个知心好友。

暧昧是，两个人都会互相猜想。他是不是已经暗示了什么？我是不是自作多情？

暧昧是，两个人没有承诺过什么。但虽然如此，你愿意付出的，比有承诺的情侣更多。没有责任，但你却很渴望去承担，不问回报。

暧昧是，一扇门，你可以停留在门外，也可以踏进房子里面。然后你不可以停留在门下面。门――永远不是终点站。

但，曖昧始终不是爱情。两个人再如何得好也不要改变既定的和谐，也别幻想着角色的转换，否则只有痛苦和失望。如果未曾蒙面的话，就更不该冒这个险了！就把 它当作一种友谊，好好的放在保温箱里，给它取个动人的名字叫曖昧。爱昧是你看到这篇文章，会想到的那个人！我们曖昧，我们却不属于对方……有些失去是注定 的，有些缘分是永远不会有结果的。确认世间有这么一种情愫，介于友情和爱情之间，它是真正的不能说，一说就错所以我们都选择了没有开始的永不结。

可惜……

是……这是我的决定……我没有后悔过……但我又觉得可惜……为何会这样？

朋友纷纷地告诉我中六检定考试要到了……全部都很压力……我告诉他们……我已经没有这个机会考了……突然……他们又告诉我……我的名字依然有在……毕竟已经报考了嘛……

我想……考试那天……我的位子……应该是空着的吧……我有一种……一种奇妙的感觉……也许……我只能用可惜来形容这个感觉……

我有一股冲动想回去考试……但……之后又想了想……我还是不回去吧……因为……我将会气死校长……因为把全校成绩拉低……哈哈……

但我敢肯定……这条路是我选的……我没后悔……

Stress...stress...stress!!

What am i doing now? I dunno...

What i know is...exam is coming very very soon!! Argh....

I m going mad...

过去了……

终于……都过去了……感觉好轻松……好开心……

下次请你别这样了……我真的好担心……担心你真的离开了……

我会永远爱你……

害怕……

昨天，我接了一通妹妹打来的电话……

我感到好害怕……我好害怕会失去他……到底它发生了什么事？怎么突然会有这样的反应……

我不希望他在我生命中就这样走了……我好想见他……可是我现在身不由己……我只能默默的哭泣……

Life...

Sometimes…I am really happy and enjoy my life…but sometimes…I feel lonely although my friends are around me…

I feel like my life…still lack of something…but I don’t know what is that…

Recently…many things happened…I entered a competition…that…can train my confident…but…I still have not enough confident in myself…why?

Why I can’t be like them? No need to worry about this and that…and feel scared…why am I worry so much?

After the competition…I also don’t know who I am anymore…I feel that that is not me…and…I am different…still…if I still in the old version of me…I couldn’t survive I think…

This doesn’t mean that I am doing a drama…just…being a trainee…I need to be have more confident in myself…

I am happy that I have a great roommate…if compared to some friends…I don’t know whether I am a good roommate…but…she is really a good roommate…my friends here…also very nice…just maybe we know each other only for about a few months…still can’t be like ‘old’ friends…

I hope one day…they will be my ‘old’ friends…

Feeling...weird...

After finish my assignments and presentations...i have a weird feeling...

Exam is coming...very soon...haha...now i think is the time i manage my time and start study...

From where am i going to start my study? Opss...i almost forget how to study...coz...honestly...i enjoy too much...

Is it a very bad thing? Ohno...thats why i said...i have changed...

It comes slowly...

I enjoy too much since middle of July....

Now...the stress...comes slowly...slowly....so scary...

Exam is coming soon...i don't even read a word yet...because...assignments...

I hope that i can finish my assignments smoothly n start study!!

Ahhhh......

Tired...

Yes...i m so tired...assignments? not really...busy playing? maybe....

I can't sleep early...just that...i feel not worth to do so...i found that myself has changed...better? or worsen? ermm...50-50...

I wanted to cry...but...i can't...can someone tell me how to continue my life?

My life?

Finally...i am here again...i don't know why i am here again...just...maybe...some reasons for me to be here...again...

I left my blog for almost one year...since...december'07...Wow...soooo long...many things in my life had changed...at first...i can't really accept it...now...i can say...i love my life...even though i dislike my life...i also have to accept it...and also try to love it...and...i make it...

Although i miss my so called 'old' friends...but still...i get to know many many new friends...the feeling is...weird...is hard to describe...i can't imagine how much i miss my friends...today...tomorrow...next year...i hope that my friends will be with me forever...it sounds bad...but...honestly...this is how i feel...i know that this is impossible...one day...my friends will left me...one by one...n they are searching for their new friends...and new life...just like i left my friends months ago...i don't know how they feel...i feel guilty for doing so...but...what else can i do?

I know i go for the sake of my future...3 months ago...i left them...some of them wish me luck...but some...don't really want me to go...because they feel that is not worth...to me...i have no choice...sorry...my dear friend...i have make my choice...how bout u?

WHY??

为什么我长得越大……烦恼就越多……

为什么人总是有那么多的意见？

为什么人人都要我们去配合他们？

为什么你总是认为自己永远是对的？

为什么你就不能体谅别人？

为什么我要因为你而改变大局？

为什么你就不能站在我的立场想想吗？

我快要崩溃了……

但我知道我不能这样……

我一定要撑下去……

我好希望你在我生活中……永远消失……

Do u believe in miracle?

YES? or NO?

My answer is...YES...

对不起……谢谢你……

谢谢你的爱
谢谢你的耐心
谢谢你所带给我的欢乐
谢谢你一直以来的陪伴
谢谢你一直以来的的付出
谢谢你点亮了我的生命
谢谢你在我生命中停留了一段日子
谢谢你让我体会到别人得不到的经验
谢谢你所带给我的一切……一切……

对不起……我错了……
我误会你了……
不管我怎么骂你……
对你发脾气……
你也不反抗……
你也不回手……
你更不把他放在心上……

现在……我知道了……
我很心疼……
我很伤心……
对不起……
我之前应该多关心你……
而不是骂你，更不应该打你……
我不应该把你带回来……
对不起，我错了……
我好想让你听到我的道歉……
但我知道一切都一太迟了……太迟了……

我已做了这么一个决定……
这对你可说是最好的办法……
我非常非常的舍不得你……
我好希望你能留在我身边……
像以前那样…
可是我不想让你再辛苦下去……
我就做了这么一个决定……
我很心疼……

我真的……很舍不得你……
我会永远……永远……的祝福你……

Oh my God...

I know she is a good friend sometimes…
I know she think that I have changed…
I know she know that some people hate her…
I know she dislike somebody very much…
I know she is so sensitive…

I dunno how to tolerate with her…
I dunno what to do with her…
I dunno what’s wrong with her…
I dunno what will happen next to her…

I wanna shout at her in front of everyone …
I wanna slap her…
I wanna walk out of her life…

I don’t care what she think of me…
I don’t care how she describe me…
I don’t care if everybody hate her…
I don’t care if she still wanna be friend with me…

I am fed up with her…
I am not who I am anymore…

Tagged...

Tagged by Iwan loooooooong time ago....

5 things found in my bag
- purse
- handphone
- tissue
- comb
- medicine(like panadol…)

5 things found in your wallet
- money
- identity card
- driving license
- cards (like popular n union card, optical centre + some business cards…)
- photos (mine + my family)

5 favourite things in your room
- my collection (like stamps…)
- my bed
- my letters
- souvenirs
- gifts from my friends

5 things you’ve always wanted to do
- successfully bake a fruit cake
- get a complete set of baking stuff
- get a complete set of sushi making stuff
- buy a laptop
- change my handphone

5 things you’re currently into
- start my new life in form 6
- card making
- going mad with my looong hair
- my busy life – tuition…
- make new friends(from other schools)

5 person that you tagged
- nobody la...

Tagged again n again...^^

I was tagged by "nice" Nard Ge Ge...


INSTRUCTION : Bold the statements that are true to you. Italicize the statements that you WISH are true. Leave the fibs alone.Then, stab 3 people to do the same test..

1) I miss somebody right now.
2) I do not watch tv these days.
3) I wear glasses or contact lenses.
4) I love to play video games.
5) I have tried marijuana.
6) I have been in a threesome.
7) I believe honesty is usually the best policy.
8) I have changed mentally over the last year.
9) I curse.
10) I'm totally smart.
11) I've broken someone's bones.
12) I'm paranoid sometimes.
13) I would get plastic surgery if it were 100% safe, free of cost, and scar-free.
14) I need money right now.
15) I love sushi.
16) I talk really, really fast.
17) I have long hair.
18) I have lost money in Las Vegas.
19) I have at least one sibling.
20) I have worn fake hair/fingernails/eyelashes in the past.
21) I couldn't survive without Caller ID.
22) I like the way I look.
23) I am usually pessimistic.
24) I have a lot of mood swings.
25) I have a hidden talent.
26) I'm always hyper.
27) I have a lot of friends.
28) I have pecked someone of the same sex.
29) I enjoy talking on the phone
30) I practically live in sweatpants or PJ pants.
31) I love to shop.
32) Enjoy window shopping.
33) I would rather shop than eat.
34) I don't hate anyone.
35) I'm a pretty good dancer.
36) I'm completely embarrassed to be seen with my mother.
37) I have a cell phone..
38) I believe in God.
39) I am an adrenaline junkie.
40) I watch MTV on a daily basis.
41) I have passed out drunk in the past 6 months.
42) I've rejected someone before.
43) I want to have children in the future.
44) I have changed a diaper before.
45) I've called the cops on a friend before.
46) I'm not allergic to anything.
47) I have a lot to learn.
48) I'm shy around members of the opposite sex.
49) I have made a move on a friends significant other or crush in the past.
50) I have tried alcohol before.
51) I own the South Park movie.
52) I would die for my best friend.
53) I think that Pizza Hut has the best pizza.
54) I have used my sexuality to advance my career.
55) I love Michael Jackson, scandals and all.
56) Halloween is awesome because you get free candy.
57) I watch Spongebob Squarepants and I like it.
58) I am happy at this moment!
59) I'm obsessed with girls/guys.
60) I tie my shoelaces differently from anyone I've ever met.
61) I study for tests most of the time.
62) I am comfortable with who I am right now.
63) I have more than just my ears pierced.
64) I walk barefoot wherever I can.
65) I have jumped off a bridge.
66) I love sea turtles.
67) I spend ridiculous money on makeup.
68) Plan on achieving a major goal dream.
69) I'm proficient in an musical instrument.
70) I hate office jobs.
71) I love sci-fi movies.
72) I think water rules.
73) I went college out of state.
74) I like sausages.
75) I love kisses.
76) I fall for the worst people.
77) I adore bright colours.
78) I can't live without black eyeliner.
79) I don't know why the hell I just did this stupid thing.
80) I usually like covers better than originals.
81) I can pick up things with my toes.
82) I can whistle.
83) I can move my tongue in waves, much like a snake's slither.
84) I have ridden/owned a horse.
85) I still have every journal I've written in.
86) I can't stick to a diet.
87) I talk in my sleep.
88) I try to forget things by drowning them out with loads of distractions.
89) I have jazz in my blood.
90) Climbing trees is a brilliant past-time.
91) I wear a toe ring.
92) I can't stand at LEAST one person that I work with.
93) I am a caffeine junkie.
94) I cosplay or know what cosplaying is.
95) I have been to over 15 conventions.
96) I will collect anything, and the more nonsensical the better.
97) I'm an artist.
98) I only clean my room when necessary.
99) I like a person of the same sex.
100) I love being happy.


I wanna tag Min Jia and Wei Hern only...

50-50

I am confused…

The teacher and the president of Buddha Society year 06/07 want me to be the president of year 07/08…what can I do? Accept? Refuse?

Buddha Society is not the same as other society…because…we have ‘shi fu’ (师父)…we can’t simply plan the activities that we want but we have to plan something according to Buddha taught…this is the main problem…for example…if I am the president of English Society…I can plan any activities that I want (I can plan n do what I want because I am the president)…but if I am the president of Buddha Society(I have to follow their plan…don’t want to follow also can…but…to me is like ‘derhaka’…actually i dunno how to reject someone's ideas...expecially shi fu's n teacher's ideas..)…

I am under stress…I have no confident actually…but I will try my best…

Hmm...

就在刚才……我受到了他（已和我相处了两年的朋友）的信息……他告诉我……他得matrikulasi了……明天就要去了……我当时的心情就是非常非常得难受……我的心好痛……好像失去某种东西的感觉……很无助……

我想了整个下午……心情很差……我为了不让父母知道我的心情……就一个人躲在房间里……借口是看故事书……就在那个时候……我想了好多好多东西……哭也哭过了……我也已接受了这个现实……“人总是要接受现实的……虽然很痛……但一下子就会过去了……”这句是我从一部电视剧的对白学到的……觉得他讲得也有道理……一直都记在心里……

也在这个时候……我发现我一直都依赖着他……想了整个下午……我也相通了……我也很清楚我下一步要怎么走下去……

Orientation Day...

Orientation Day – great!

I reached school at about 7am…I looked around…none of them wearing t-shirt(means they are not form 6 students)…I seemed like an ‘alien’ walking around the school seeking for another ‘alien’..haha…only at about 7.15am I saw another ‘alien’…huhh…am I too early?

After that was ice breaking. At first, there were only 6 people(including me) in my group…kesian…then 3 people come and join my group…group’s name is ‘wu xian’(unlimited)…yen yen and xiang wei same group with me…

There was a game that we have to search something (symbol, drawing or words) that can be found in our school compound…only that I know that there are many things that I dunno or didn’t even realize although I study in this school for 5 years!! Aiks..aiks…

Then was station game where we need cooperation…one of the game that remain ‘geli’ in my mind is we have to eat something look and taste geli (mixture of banana, milo and water)..imagine that…we have to use the straw to suck the ‘things’…actually the taste is not that bad…but the colour is sooo geli…yuck…

What a great experience!!

Second day in school...

I am in L6S2…

There is only 26 students in my class…yeah…I like this…I hope the school won’t combine L6S1 n S2…

My class teacher is…is…is…Mr. …..(5A1’06 class teacher!!) omg!!

Mr. Teoh : Your class teacher is Mr….

L6S2 students : Harrrrrrrrrrr…..!!

Let me introduce to u my classmates…

Emm…shy chyi, khuan ning, lip pang, kok jie, jane ying, xin tian, nicholas, bai qin, cheng you, boon khai, hooi ann, cindy, wan li, sue lyn, kar suan, kooi shen, kang ding, wei yuan, shi mei…the rest…I m not very sure, some of then are from other schools…

Tomorrow is orientation day!! Yeah!!

Tagged again...=)

When I saw the word ‘tagged’ in lene’s blog…then I know…I wanna cekek lene…nyeknyeknyek…

*Actually I wanna post this earlier..but…when I type till the word ‘purse’…suddenly...
'toc'…black out…so sui…haiz…

5 things found in my bag
- purse
- handphone
- tissue
- comb
- medicine(like panadol…)

5 things found in your wallet
- money
- identity card
- driving license
- cards (like popular n union card, optical centre + some business cards…)
- photos (mine + my family)

5 favourite things in your room
- my collection (like stamps…)
- my bed
- my letters
- souvenirs
- gifts from my friends

5 things you’ve always wanted to do
- successfully bake a fruit cake
- get a complete set of baking stuff
- get a complete set of sushi making stuff
- buy a laptop
- change my handphone

5 things you’re currently into
- start my new life in form 6
- card making
- going mad with my looong hair
- my busy life – tuition…
- make new friends(from other schools)

5 person that you tagged
- nobody la...

lene...i m waiting...

My brand new life...

My new life had just started…

I wake up at 6am in the morning…the first thing…bath! Then bla bla…including tie my hair (hehe..susahnye..the first time I tie my hair b4 going to school mer..=.=) I thought I can done everything in 30 minutes…but…aiya…the time is already 6.30am n I still haven’t come my hair, wear my shoes, tie n …I have to go out early because my dad is the driver…if not… dad might be late to school (kesian…=.=)…I panicked…no choice liao ar…take my rubber band, ribbon as well as comb(most important…) n also my shoes…reach school…my first destination - school toilet!! Haha…

At about 7am…done!! Go to the front of my school hall…to see whether chyi was already there…saw xinyi n zi yang(chua)…about 5 minutes later…saw chyi with her untied hair…

‘ping! Give me the rubber band!! No time liao…quick…go to the toilet(toilet again…=.=)!’

7.30am…we all gathered in school hall…there are students from keat hwa II and Sharifah Roziah…I choose biology class…I will die if continue study physic…hehe…

Really loooong briefing….damn boring…but quite useful…hehe…

Thats all…

U all(my x classmate) wanna know who I saw today?

*wan yen, woan chin, wan teng, xiang wei, shu jou, khuan ning, chu siang, kok jie, ching ying, xiao wei, jia xin, wan li, jane ying, elisabeth, xinyi, zhi sheng, lip pang, ying ying, xin tian, hooi ann, hooi ling, jin xuan, zi hong…I think is enough ady la hor…=)

To be continue…

i m a fortune teller..haha...

农历二十三日生
此日生人，心境常换，作事不定，多变多变，易与争斗勤励事业，矫正缺点，衣禄有馀，中年平平未运福到，荣华富贵，平安之命

28日出生的我。。
韧性很强，拥有战胜困难的力量。这天出生的女性，常给人一种妖艳的印象。

你富有幻想力，好玩，喜欢寻求刺激，表达能力很强。你魅力过人，身边不会缺少朋友和裙下之臣，有时会因兴奋过度而态度嚣张，喜好得失通常在朋友间都会以玩笑的态度打圆场。你妒忌心颇重，但通常是在男友的故意挑剔下表现出来，你喜欢运动型和富有艺术感的男性。

最匹配的星座：白羊座，狮子座，射手座

最佳男伴生日：3，12，21，30。

Tagged...

Actually…been tagged is fun…at least…I have something to post…hehe…

1.Honestly what color is your shirt?
-- Red + white… is my pyjamas la..

2. Honestly, whats on your mind?
-- Today’s incident…actually I wanna go shopping…but I din go…mixed feeling…

3. Honestly, what are you doing right now?
-- Really dumb question…I m now sitting on a chair n typing..=)

4. Honestly, have you ever been in love?
-- Yes…

5. Honestly, have you done something bad today?
-- Yes…I fight with my dog…he is so naughty today…maybe praise him too much last night…

6. Honestly, do you watch disney channel?
-- Only if no other channel that attract me…or maybe when my mood is good…

7. Honestly, who is the last person you talked to on the phone?
-- Zhi sheng…private conversation…haha..

8. Honestly, are you jealous of somebody right now?
-- No…

9. Honestly, what makes you mad most of the time?
-- When my cat meowing non stop…he is full actually…just manja…

10. Honestly, do you bite your nails?
-- Yes…do u saw me biting my nails in front of u? coz I will only bites my nails when I m watching tv…

11. Honestly, do you use anyone?
-- No…

12. Honestly, do you want to see someone this very moment?
-- No…I feel a little bit sleepy…

13. Honestly, do you have a friend you don’t like?
-- Yes…I think lene and nard know who is that…

14. Honestly, do you love anyone?
-- Mum…dad...two younger sisters…my dog…my cat…my hamsters…my fish…

15. Honestly, does anyone like you?
-- Dunno wor…

DIFFERENT EMOTIONS SURVEY

*Anger Section*

1. What do you do when you’re mad?
Step 1: Yell! Arghhhhhh!!!

Step 2: Slap the table…or something ‘slapable’..

Step 3: Scream to the person who made me mad...OR…search for the thingS that the person like n hide it/them…I will take it/them out when my mood is ok…hehe…

2. What’s the worst thing you’ve done when you were mad?
-- Throw the thingS that the person like into the dustbin…

3. Ever made anyone cry when you were mad?
-- My younger sisters…

4. Do you swear when you are mad ?
-- I swear he/she vanished in my life…

5. When was the last time you really cried?
-- Last year…

6. Ever cried yourself to sleep?
-- Yes…

7. What usually makes you cry?
-- Death & frustration...

8. Are you normally a happy person?
-- 80% happy…20% sad…

9. Does being with your friends make you happy?
-- Yes…but I always need some alone time too...

10. Have anyone to be tagged after you’ve been?
-- Mr. Chong Wei Hern…

Oh no! is that true?

For your whole life, you may lead a wandering life. Things of value and family property obtained only in a dream. It would be better for you to be adopted by a relative or be brought up by another family. There will be several occasions that you might migrate from one place to another. It seems that you did not do more good deeds in your past lives to create good karma or good wealth luck Why do you encounter so much hardships and untold sufferings?

HatE...

Something happened last night…[ don’t think bukan-bukan ya…=) ]

I chat with somebody ‘X’ through MSN…and…X told me to change my photo…the reason is…got someone X hate very much in that particular photo…so…I changed…but…

So…now what I wanna say is…that is my profile..I like to put what photo is my business…not yours! What is the matter with the photo? You hate someone in that particular photo?! So what? He/she is my friend! Why can’t I put that photo? You hate somebody doesn’t mean that I hate he/she too! You tell me you don’t wanna think of the past…nevermind…but don’t involve me! You want or don’t want to think is your business, not mine! I have my freedom to put whatever I want!

Actually, if we hate someone…we will never forget he/she ‘A’ because we still hate A. A will always in your mind…you tell yourself to forget A…but I don’t think you can do it(if you still hate A)…you will feel uneasy when anyone talk about A…if you still hate A…A will in your mind for the rest of your life…because you know you hate A! right? So, don’t take it too hard…you will never forget A if the word ‘hate’ is still in your heart…the more you hate, the more you suffer…and maybe your doings will caused your friend(like me) feel uncomfortable…

*what do u think?
*sorry if I hurt somebody here…this is how I feel…because…I also have someone I hate...

The ReaLiTy...

双鱼座的我…有事也烦…没事也烦...真是难以了解…hor?

我现在烦的呢…也就是搞不懂我应该选理科还是文科…有人说…文科的工作机会比较多..因为文科包括商科…在这个社会里…即使是你要当医生(也就是选择理科)…也和商科有关…不是吗?

但…如果我真的要读文科…而我在中四和中五都是读理科的…突然转去文科…会不会太冒险了呢?我也已问过我爸…他说…既然你目前读着理科…为何要换呢?他还社会东西很难讲的…有时需要好多就读文科的学生…有时候又时机转变…需要就读理科的学生…这也要靠你的运气咯!

我想了又想…难道真的要靠运气吗?难道不能靠我的实力吗?但是假如我再好…也会有人比我更好…就如强中自有强中手…到底怎么样的学生才真正达到社会的要求呢?

又有人说…你有兴趣什么科…就读什么科啦…几乎90%的朋友都这么说…但…兴趣也是有限的...怎么说呢?就好像我对设计有兴趣…但…我又能力读吗?设计这一科的学费…远远的超越了其他的科系…我负担得起吗?而且你觉得政府学院会推荐你就读有关设计的科目吗?对我而言…兴趣不是一切的…不是吗?

Ya...thats me...

Pisces Positive Traits

Imaginative and sensitive
Compassionate and kind
Selfless and unworldly
Intuitive and sympathetic

Pisces negative Traits

Escapist and idealistic
Secretive and vague
Weak-willed and easily led

The Astrological birth sign of Pisces (February 19 - March 20) is usually associated with being extremely creative, sensetive, and artistic, as well as a healthy fascination with the metaphysical and spiritual.

Pisces are the most intuitive and spiritually developed of the zodiac birth signs.Aptly called "old souls", Pisces thirst for spiritual knowledge and personal growth. They are the twelfth, and last, of the Zodiac signs, and as such, tend to have a more finely tuned intuition, sixth sense or extrasensory ability to perceive others feelings.

The duality of the Pisces personality is best described as a constant ebb and flow, back and forth, straddling the physical, material world and the ethereal, divine realm where Pisces vivid imagination, powerful intuition and creative daydreaming feel like home.

Pisces are creators. Pisces are common as inventors, writers, musicians, painters, and dancers. Pisces make great friends and mates. Pisces are extremely loyal and caring. Pisces often possess uncanny intuitive or psychic abilities.

A 'good' deed...haha...

Ringring……ringring……(I m bathing actually…)

I thought is my mum or dad is calling me…or something emergency…coz my phone seldom ring in the morning…so I rushed out from my bathroom…pick up the phone……

Me: Hello…

X University: Hello…I m calling from X University [*alamak]…can I speak to miss XX

(my name) please? [ohno! I hate this…I already received many calls from

many private collages n universities…y? coz they want SOMETHING ma…]

Me: Oh…she is not in…(+. +’’) [ water start trickling down on the phone…yuck…*rub the phone

with my towel…]

X University: ……

Me: Har??

X University: Who is speaking? [=.=”]

Me: Her mum…… [*smile…I thought she will say: “ok…good luck…thanks n bye…” but…]

X University: Is she interested in……bla…bla…[*ohno…]

Me: Em…I don’t think so…she is moving to form 6…[ngek…ngek…]

X University: Oh…ok…thank you….bye…

Me: Bye…

*am I wrong? What do u think of me after u read this…

Where do we come from?? i'm confused...

Where did humans come from? How did they come about? In investigating this question, we might consider how chickens came about. Which came first, the chicken or the egg? If you don't have a chicken, then there's no way you can have an egg, and if you don't have an egg, how can a chicken hatch?Some say that people evolved from monkeys. But what do the monkeys evolve from? If people evolved from monkeys, then why are there no people evolving from monkeys right now? This is really strange…

As far as people are concerned, were there women first, or were there men first? If you claim that the men came first, how do you explain that men are born from women? And, without women, how can there be any men? If you claim that the women were first to appear, how can you explain that both men and women are required to produce more people? Without a man, how can another woman be conceived?

*what do u think?

暧昧...委屈...哭泣...

暧昧让人受尽委屈
找不到相爱的证据
何时该前进 何时该放弃
连拥抱都没有勇气

只能陪你到这里
毕竟有些事不可以
超过了友情 还得不到爱情
远方就要下雨的风景

到底该不该哭泣
想太多 是我还是你
我很不服气 也开始怀疑
眼前的人是不是同一个真实的你

暧昧让人受尽委屈
找不到相爱的证据
何时该前进
何时该放弃
连拥抱都没有勇气

暧昧让人变得贪心
直到等待失去意义
无奈我和你
写不出结局
放遗憾的美丽
停在这里

DeLiciOuS....

INGREDIENTS

* 1 cup confectioners' sugar
* 3 cups all-purpose flour
* 1 cup butter
* 1 egg, beaten
* 1 dash vanilla extract
*
* 2/3 cup white sugar
* 1 1/2 cups water
* 9 eggs, beaten
* 1 dash vanilla extract
* 1 cup canned evaporated milk

DIRECTIONS

1. In a medium bowl, mix together the confectioners' sugar and flour. Mix in butter with a fork until it is in small crumbs. Stir in the egg and vanilla until the mixture forms a dough. The texture should be slightly moist. Add more butter if it is too dry, or more flour, if the dough seems greasy. Shape dough into 1 1/2 inch balls, and press the balls into tart molds so that it covers the bottom, and goes up higher than the sides. Use 2 fingers to shape the edge into an A shape.
2. Preheat the oven to 450 degrees F (230 degrees C). Combine the white sugar and water in a medium saucepan, and bring to a boil. Cook until the sugar is dissolved, remove from heat and cool to room temperature. Strain the eggs through a sieve, and whisk into the sugar mixture. Stir in the evaporated milk and vanilla. Strain the filling through a sieve, and fill the tart shells.
3. Bake for 15 to 20 minutes in the preheated oven, until golden brown, and the filling is puffed up a little bit.

the BIGGEST problem

I m now wondering what course i wana take after spm..

1) i like the most-design (but i scared i cant find a job aft i graduate...n compare to the other ppl..i scared my design is bad..i wana b a famous designer..but i know is hard in m'sia...n that time when i graduate..ppl who study medic...engeenier ad hav a job...but i m still din success...= i hav no confident..)

2) mass com (the reason is same as (1))

3) medic/pharmacy(of course i want 2 b a famous doctor..but i dun reli like it coz is hard....hav to memorise a lot...doctor is also my parents' choice)

4) teacher (of course i also i wana b a famous teacher like mr. goh...a math tam teacher...i scared i cant do it..but most of my friends(not u all who read my posts of course)...when i said i wana b a teacher...they will say:"teacher ar...okla"..they let me feel like teacher is a low standrad ppl...)

can anyone here tell me what to do?

friends...

有时候看到交许多朋友的朋友。。不知为什么。。心里有点妒嫉。。为何他们的朋友那么多？而我。。他们的人缘有那么的好吗？我不知道。。还是他们比我更会珍惜身边的人？我不知道。。也许我是一种‘慢热’型的人。。看见他的朋友那么多。。突然发现自己越来越寂寞。。别人忙着‘约会’。。而我却留在家里。。一些我身边的朋友。。都不是我蛮好的朋友。。又有一些朋友。。很难让我信任。。总觉得他在我后面说些不该说的话。。但事实上有还是没有。。我不清楚。。

在他身边。。我总有一种妒忌心。。我有那么讨厌他吗？我不知道。。讨厌总比妒嫉多。。我只知道他有时真的令我觉得讨厌。。但有时候和他一起却很合得来。。但我相信讨厌的感觉总比合得来的时候多。。所以就在他面前做出一些让他讨厌和妒嫉的事。。就因为这样。。一些朋友就很奇怪的问我为何这样对待他。。在他们脑海里。。我是‘坏人’。。他。。才是‘好人’。。到底谁是好人。。谁是坏人。。我并不在乎。。我只是。。。以牙还牙。。

wHo Am i ?

I'm a O41-C30-E12-A63-N84 Big Five!!

My 5A3'06...

gonna miss u guys...

Am i ur friend?

你根本不了解我。。而且还狠狠地在我背后刺了一刀。。

Why Me?

Pau-Le-Ne…tag me again n again…haiz…u ni reli mau kena from me izit…pluck ur head then u know…=)

Name 20 peoples you can think of and then tag 5 more people(I dun think I wanna tag anyone) to do this survey. Do not read the questions before you write

1. Pau-lene
2. Leonard
3. Shy Chyi
4. Xiang Wei
5. Ming Jean
6. Dad
7. Mum
8. younger sister (chai fern)
9. younger sister (jia thung)
10. Zhi Sheng
11. Siang Choon
12. Yee Khai
13. Huai Hao
14. Jo Lyn
15. Wan Yen
16. Wan Teng
17. Wern Ting
18. Kit Hwa
19. Hui Chin
20. Hsien Yang

1.How did you meet #14(jo lyn)?
in smjk keat hwa when we're in form three.

2.What would you do if you haven't met #1(pau-le-ne)?
maybe I wont be here bloging…

3.What would you do if #20(Hsien Yang) and #9(younger sis- jia thung) dated?
walau a…hsien yang is handsome rite? Hehe..

4.Would #6(dad) and #17(wern ting) make good couple?
*fainted*…tell mum 2 divorce dad…ha…I dun tink tis will happen..==

5.Describe #3(shy chyi).
someone “kiasu”…

6.Do you think #8(younger sis-chai fern) is attractive?
maybe…

7.Tell me something about #7(mum).
she is the best mum in my heart…

8.Do you know anything about #12(yee khai) family?
err..don't think so.

9.What is #1's(pau-le-ne) favourite?
spicy food…

10.What would you do if #11(siang choon) confesses that he/she likes you?
hahaha….siang choon?? impossible lah…

11.What language does #15(wan yen) speak?
chinese

12.Who is #9(younger sis-jia thung) going out with?
ei…my younger sis is only standard 4 leh…

13.How old is #16(wan teng)?
seventeen

14.When was the last time you talk to #13(huai hao)?
yesterday in school..

15.Who is #2(leonard) favourite singer?
dunno leh…

16.Would you date #4(xiang wei)?
no…

17.Would you date #7(mum)?
sot ar..

18.Is #15(wan yen) single?
yeap..any guys out there interested in knowing her? She is pretty leh…

19.What is #10's(zhi sheng) last name?
you say leh..

20.Would you consider being in a relationship with #19(hui chin)?
I m not a lesbian..

21.What school did #17(wern ting) go to?
same as me…smjk keat hwa

22.Where does #6(dad)lives?
at my home la…

23.What is your favourite thing about #5(ming jean)?
so cool…ha..

24.What do you think about #13(huai hao)?
a rich guy…

25.What do #4(xiang wei) and #18(kit hwa) have in common?
dunno lar…

26.What special qualities does #5(ming jean) hold in your life?
he is a very cool man….ha..

Haiz…haiz…finally I ad completed my mission….lene…bcareful of ur head har…

Something u Dunno About Me...

Pau-le-ne…I tink u will b happy when u saw this…

Name: (I think u all know tat..)
Hawaiian Name: Iolana Palila
Russian Name: Laryssa Oksanochka Lebedev
German Name: Veronika Lieselotte
French Name: Astrid Jacquet

Me? You maybe know more than me…only if u really know me…

Quite Lazy + Always do Last Minute Work…
When I start doing sumting…I wil say..”quite fun…n wil b smiling away…” after a moment then…I wil start complain…I wil say…”ich…dun like tis…wat is this? Hate!”…..then if I m doing school projects…I wil say..”I dun like tis design…my writing is terrible la..”…finally…wasting more n more papers!! The papers tat I throw away as much as the paper I used!! Then…get scolded by mum…(T.T)…almost every time like tat…haiz… after drawing n writing tis n tat…I feel bored…then…I dun wan to continue anymore…I m lazy then…till the last minute…I wil dig out all those papers n juz simply do…then pass up…that’s ME!! Hehe…

Favourite sport…..swimming…
I like swimming…mayb tis is because my dad also like tat…when I was small…in primary school I think…my dad always bring me 2 penang…of course wit my mum n sisters la…then book a hotel wit big big swimming pool…hehe…dad juz like to choose hotels tat hav big swimming pool…if the swimming pool is small…tat wil be the first n last time I stay in tat hotel…hehe…weird? Then…my dad wil b the cameraman…wanna c photos? I can show u if u cum 2 my house…cause there is a lot…over hundreds pieces I think…aiya…din go n count la….juz a lot…I din go 4 swimming lesson…my dad is the one who teach me how 2 swin…save $ ma…hehe…since tat…I like swimming…hehe…dun 4get 2 call me when u guys go swimming..

Love spicy + sour food…
Tomyam…laksa…”zha cai”(hokkien) soup…I dunno whether u guys know tat soup or not…nvmla…em…pau-le-ne…same as u…I like thai food….simply tasty!! But weird…I dun like cili padi!! I hate tat! Chilli sauce if course no problem…n I also like garlic…but I dun really like cooked garlic…almost every time…I will chop the garlic then mix wit rice…garlic make my food tastier…juz like it..maybe some of u dun like the smell of garlic…

Soft Hearted + always cry…
Dunno y…juz think tat I m soft hearted… cause I juz easily cried… (maybe u din c me crying in school)…sia sui ma… pau-le-ne…I think u know tat…tat time…shh…dun say out…when I watch a tragic + sad drama or movie or whatever show la…I juz cried…juz hard 2 controll…*dun b shocked if u saw me crying infront of the tv…hehe…I also cried buckets almost every time a camp is over…I also dunno how 2 describe my feeling tat time…juz cry la…mayb u also hav tat feeling…I wil also cry almost every time parents scolded me…but I din let them know tat I m crying…I cried silently…mayb they know…or mayb they dunno…I dun know…n all of u know…I cried when my hamster died…sometimes…in the middle of the night…I wil start thinking of the sad things…sad incident…then I wil start crying alone when everyone is sleeping...

Love life…
I have crush on a guy few years ago…tat feeling is…HARD…dunno how 2 describe…juz difficult to control my feelings..thinking…because we are not in the same class…we lost contact then…n also because of PMR…tat feeling go slowly…now, he is still my friend…but I dun hav tat feeling anymore…yeah! Actually to me, tat is juz a feeling…a feeling tat can cum n go easily… now…I hav 2 lou gongs…haha…some of my friends know tat…but if u ask them…I dun think they will tell u…cause I thrust them…actually hav 3 geh…but I throw away one le…haha…wanna know who r they….cum n ask me…n I will say…”u n one of ur friend…”…hehee..

Friends…
I totally hate people gossip about me…u know who I mean…n worst off…u let me know u r gossiping about me? Ha! So stupid! I hav friend tat can share secrets n feelings wit me…I feel better after telling her my problems..how I feel..n so on…I will try my best if u wan me 2 help u…but…dun tell me to do nonsense..eg. doing thing that u can do it urself…I tink leonard n lene know what I mean here…hehe…if I hate u…I can pretend til u dunno actually I hate u so much…so better be careful ya…hehe…

My comment…really hard writing all this…n I wanna tag wei hern here…hehehe…

Are u 100% a Malaysian?

It's a test on how un-malaysian are u...it's not 100% true...but...just try 4 fun...

Congratulations , you are 43% not Malaysian.

That means you're as Malaysian as...


Michelle Yeoh!

How Un-Malaysian Are You?

Still got 57% Malaysian...haha...

Weird Holiday...

My parents have to attend dunno what course this holiday..so, dad asked grandma to come to my house to take care of me n my two younger sisters. She came yesterday. My dad told us to take good care of my grandma…but…I think grandma is the one who take good care of us…Actually earlier on I dun want grandma to come and stay with us…dun wan to burden grandma…but dad disagree. He said that is better if got an adult at home…so..no choice. She cooked for us. Grandma’s cooking is much better than mum’s cooking..haha…dun tell my mum ya…especially the vegetable soup…yummy…

Mum just came back from Cameron Highland. She bought back a few boxes of strawberries, tomatoes, dunno what corn (so big)…blablah…all vegetables…I like strawberries the most…I can bake a strawberry cake then..haha…ok, got to go n continue study physic as well as add math…haiz…

迷迷糊糊中......

考试也终于到了一段落。。我也有时间出现在这里。。但目前看来。。没有一科是令我满意的。。

这次考试前。。我没有用“心”读书。。其实，我并不把这次的预试看得那么重要。。不知为何。。考试前并没有那种每次考试“紧张”的心情。。反而在考试前还拖拖拉拉的。。好像还有很多时间那样。。但现在有点后悔了。。

为何我总是有等到最后一分钟再拿起书来读呢？我不能早一点开始读书吗？这就是人的惰性！我每次考试都等到考试来临的前两个星期才读书。。而且。。第一个星期时迷迷糊糊地读。。到了第二个星期才进入读书的状况。。那时候。。我才发现。。我太迟了。。每一次考试前。。我都会说：“为什么我不早点开始读书？”Haiya….到了这个时候才将这句话有何用？？但我就是喜欢这样。。这就是懒惰的后果!

到了考试前一天。。就在那边拼命地读啊。。读。。有时候得到“钓鱼”了。。还逼自己读下去。。不然要怎么办？放弃吗？不。。目前为止我不会那么做。。有时候又一太累。。因为昨天熬夜到两、三点，结果早上就精神欠佳。。一直打瞌睡。。考试时也迷迷糊糊。。一直不自己提起精神考试。。有时候，放学回家，下午读书时。。好累。。读一课，也需用了整个下午的时间来读。。到了晚生，才开始紧张。。结果到最后，那些比较懂得课，就随便翻过算了。。即使是随便翻过，但有好多要“翻”。。到最后是懂非懂的。。还不是一样！什么都没有读进脑海。。

咳。。说来说去。。还不是一句---后悔！！

My hamster has DIED...

今天，放学回家。。发现。。我的hamster…死了！Why? Why? 当我那东西给他吃时。。我看见他在一旁静静的。。一动也不动。。我心里想：他因该是在睡觉吧。。（不去管她）。。过了不久，他依然在“睡觉”。。（我依然不去管他，以为没事的）。。第三次，我有点担心。。再次去看他。。单。。我发现得太迟了。。He has died…He has DIED!!

虽然我 养它只不过四个月左右。。但，我对他有了“感情”（相信有养宠物的朋友都知道）。。我哭了。。眼泪就自动的流下。。虽然它只不过是一只小小的宠物。。失去 了还可以再买。。但。。我已把他当成了我家庭的一分子。。我还是舍不得他。。他，是我养的。。他就这样死了。。到底我做错了什么？他生病了吗？为何我不知 道？？我早上给他吃东西时还是好好的。。为何现在。。我真得很不开心。。心里真的好难受。。好难受。。

忘不了的日记...

原本星期六想update blog…但，由于志胜晚上打电话来和我聊了差不多三十分钟。。导致我那时也累了。。不想再开电脑了。。

星期 四，学长团拍全体照。那天天气不是很好。。但之后还是雨过天晴。本来是阴天的，之后太阳公公就出来了。。好热！突然，nard 告诉我他看见彩虹。。彩虹？I saw myself! 我好久没看见彩虹了。。好高兴！不知为何看到彩虹也给我那么深的印象。。也许就是喜欢吧。。

星期五。好累的一天。。早上和下午都有补习。。晚上本来想要读书。。准备考试的。。但。。不知不觉。。我睡着了！haiz…每次考试来临我都会不知不觉地睡着的。。真讨厌！

星 期六。。学长日！这一天终于到了！我早上六点就起床了。。因为我爸和我妈要去学校。。我必须跟他们的时间。。好累啊。。没有上课也要那么早起身。。早上是 玩station game…好么哪。。因为大多数的游戏我都玩过了。。我是“疯人组”。。好奇怪的一个名字。。诗雯和我同组。。我看得出他很想搞气氛。。带动气氛。。但， 整组还是死气沉沉的。。他就叫我们整组为在树旁。。一起讨论口号。。那时我更本看不到对方的脸。。只听到诗雯的声音。。蛮好玩的。。可惜。。地上的草湿湿 的。。弄得我的白鞋好脏。。之后是installation…
煜恒当上了2006/2007年度的总学长。。恭喜恭喜。。由于当时太匆忙了。。我尽然忘了带我的毛巾和奖牌回家。回家真急着冲凉，因为要起补习。。但却找不到我的毛巾！而且还被妈妈骂了一顿!还有。。nard …你几时要还我我的奖牌？你该不会忘了吧？

看 见施琪换新的眼镜。。他的眼镜太大了。。而且又是白色。。看起来好奇怪！look like an alien with a big head…那个眼镜虽然看起来很“yeng”。。但并不适合她。。我觉得。。他那种眼镜比较适合男生戴。。但他就是喜欢。。我也没办法。。

现在我已经不必duty了。。感觉好奇怪。。好像有种“空”的感觉。。还是会想念duty 的时候。。毕竟好事不习惯这种“生活”。。看来。。我已脱离了学生“生活”好久了。。相信我会慢慢习惯“它”的。。。

寻找着...答案

怎么讲呢？一件不寻常的是发生了。。我也没预料到只是一张粘贴在布告板的报导也会造成蛮大的问题。。咳。。

华语节到了。。老师也进班了。。但，老师今天不寻常。。一进班就叫某某同学站起来回答他的问题。。也许他觉得在本班可以寻找到他要的答案。。但。。我们并不给他。。他要的。。答案。。

“你对学校班上布告板粘贴着这种新闻，有何看法？”

我所谓的那种新闻是有关校园暴力事件、强奸案和与健康有关的新闻（与人体有关，从报章上图文并茂的剪下，粘贴在布告板上）。其实，我们把这些新闻贴在布告板上，只不过是要让其他很少阅读报章的同学知道现今社会有这种事件发生，以提高警惕。。并不是要破坏校园的风气。。

几 位同学回答老师的问题后。。老师却说我们是非不分。。以我班同学的立场来看。。我们认为把这些新闻报道粘贴在布告板上是没有问题的（如上所说）。。但从 老师口中所说的是非不分。。无形中。。身为学生的我们。。与老师的立场不一样。。导致我们开始觉得不满。。为何老师说我们是非不分呢？我们已是中五学 生。。想法或许没那么幼稚了。。我们会开始想。。开始坚持我们的立场。。因为我们并不认为我们是非不分。。我们不要让老师觉得我们是是非部分的。。所以， 我们才那么坚持我们的立场。。我们和老师的观点始终还是不一样。。老师始终无法改变我们的想法。。我们也始终无法改变老师的想法。。再谈下去。。后果也许 会是一样。。因为身为学生的我们还无法接受老师的立场。。但。。目前，我们的想法始终还未改变。。

“学校不会允许学生们在布告板上粘贴这种类是新闻。”

我 从中一到现在中五了，我不知道有这个校规的存在。有这样的校规吗？我们并不知道这种新闻是不可以贴在布告板的。就因为我们不知道，而且我们认为是没问题 的，才把它贴在布告板上。我们不只是把这些新闻贴在布告板上，还有其他新闻报导我们也照样把它贴在布告板上。我们并不是特意选这些报导来粘贴在布告板上 的。

“你们说把这些新闻粘贴在布告板上，就可以提高警惕，那为何你们不把那些新闻贴在你们家的墙上，这样不是更好的办法来警惕自己吗？”

家 和学校当然不一样。在家如果在报纸上看到这些报导，我会让我的家人知道有这样的事件发生，但我不会把这些报导贴在我家，因为我觉得没这个必要。在家，不 到十个人共阅一份报纸；在学校，四十多位同学共阅一份报纸。把这些最近在社会发生的事件报导贴在布告板，那不是更好的办法让其他很少阅读报纸的同学知道现 今社会所发生的事件吗？

我总觉得老师和同学之间总有种距离。老师和学生的看法是不一样的。老师认为是错的，但学生却不觉得有什么问题。也 许是学生与老师年龄的差别，导致想法不一 样。有的同学不赞同老师的看法，但他觉得无论怎么讲，都难以说服老师，因为他们认为老师会用他们的身份来坚持他们的立场。。而学生只是表达能力不好。。让 老师误会。。结果受害的是自己。最后，这些学生还是保持沉默。老师有老师的观点。。学生也有学生的观点。。不管哪一方都无法说服另一方接受他们的观点。。 只要其中一方可以说服另一方，让另一方心甘情愿地接受这个观点，事情才算解决。。我们或许会只因为给老师面子而把布告板的新闻报道拆下，但。。目前，我们 还未改变我们的想法。。

我认识你吗？

为何…
你要在我生命中出现？
你不是我要的“人”…
你不属于我…
我更不属于你…
你的存在，
带给我许多麻烦…
你的出现，
带给我许多悲伤…

为何你这么残忍？
你让我失去自由，
失去自我…
因为你，
我心里充满怨恨。

我悲伤时，
你知多少？
我哭泣时，
你有知多少？

虽然，
你曾经带给我欢乐的时光，
但…
你带给我的悲伤…
你带给我的伤害…
远远的…
超越了那些快乐…

你曾经了解我吗？
你明白我的感受吗？
不！
你不曾了解我，
你根本不明白我，
你不知我有多难受，
更不知我要的是什么…

你不在的时候，
我是多么的自由…
多么的快乐…
我只希望…
你不曾在…
我生命中出现…

Nobody la...

昨天放学发生了一件奇怪的事。。留下了一个蛮深的印象。。想起来也有种怕怕的感觉。。

就在昨天放学时。。当时我是在bio lap…当我要背书包的时候。。有种奇怪的感觉出现了。。我感觉有人在后面推我。。我想也许有人从我后面走过。。但。。我转过头去看时。。没有人！当时只有ah ling在我旁边。。后面的同学都已经回了。。到底谁在推我？之后。。我也不想再想这件事。。也许只是幻想而已。。

之后。。和ling 一起走去礼堂前面。。在半途中。。ling 突然说。。

“wei..ping a…感觉到后面好像有人在推我。。”

“har…”

我往ling的后面看。。没有人！

“真的吗？”

“真的！好像有人在推我的书包。。”

“老实说。。刚才我在bio lap 时。。。”

我告诉她刚才发生的事。。

“har!!...wei..你不要吓我噢。。”

“真的！我没骗你。。也没吓你。。”

这时。。我和他一同转过头看看后面。。依然没有人！

想起那件事。。我也觉得怕怕。。到底“你”是谁？。。我得罪了“你”吗？。。这是我第一次有这样的感觉。。好可怕。。ling还把这件事告诉了他妈妈。。他妈还说他。。“见邪”（方言）。。虽然看起来只是小小的一件事。。但。。对我来说。。还是有种阴影。。你有这种经验吗？希望这些事。。不会发生在你身上。。。

真倒霉。。。

咳。。终于都回到家了。。今天过得好辛苦。。（T.T）。。。

今天早上。。父母都不在家。。父亲一大清早就去学校。。有事要忙。。而母亲呢。。必须参加课程。。只剩我和妹妹在家。。由于我必须出席佛学会的会员大会。。就麻烦我的邻居载我去学校。。因为邻居还有事要忙。。我被逼十点多就去学校了。。

怎知到学校不五分钟。。就收到他的信息。。

“我看今天不能去了。。因为那个interact….”

“你几点结束？。。。”

“可能四点多。。不能啦。。取消吧。。”

我突然不知该怎么办。。我之前已告诉妈我五点半才回。。但现在。。爸爸还在学校忙他的东西。。妈妈呢。。更不用讲。。难道我要在学校等到五点半吗？？不! 在没办法之下。。我只好试一试。。打电话给我妈。。

“hello..mami..等下三点半来学校载我回家可以吗？。。。”

“三点半。。不能啦。。我的课程还没有完。。我不能这样就出来载你。。不是 很好这样做。。你不是说五点半才回的吗！你为什么做事这样的！你以为我很得空是吗？随便换时间。。不能啦。。去打电话给你爸。。”

“Hm….”

我也不想多解释了。。因为我知道他已很生气。。

“hello..daddy a.. 三点半来学校载我回家可以吗？”

“三点半。。这么早。。你不是说五点半妈妈载你回吗？。。”

“能吗？。。”

“Em…看先。。我会尽量。。等下你再call我。。”

“Hm…”

咳。。我当时真得很希望爸爸能来载我。。为何我那么倒霉？？

三点零五分。。会员大会终于结束了。。我又再call daddy…

“hello..daddy a..三点半可以吗？。。”

“可能要四点半才能在你。。”

“Hm…四点半就四点半啦。。我在学校等你。。”

“ok…bye..”

“bye…”

到了大约三点半。。我看见interact club的 installation也快结束了。。与其没事做。。就去礼堂找他。。

“能去吗？。。”

“我看不能啦。。还没结束。。”

“Hm…不要紧。。我先回。。”

“bye...bye..”

“bye…bye..”

之后。。爸打电话给我。。

“hello…daddy三点九来载你。。”

“Hm…”

四点多总算回到家了。。幸好不需要等到五点半。。我不会怪你。。因为我知道这不是你的错。。我只会怪我自己为何那么倒霉。。。

放下他。。原谅他。。

之前我 曾经说过我讨厌某某人。。其实。。心中讨厌一个人是很辛苦的。。只要看到他。。心里就充满着憎恨心。。很想骂她。。咒他。。看到他，心里就不高兴。。不满 这个。。讨厌那个。。这些日子真的过得好辛苦。。我真的不知怎样才能解开我心中的恨。。现在。。我总算明白了一个道理。。就是。。放下他。。原谅他。。

这对我来说并不是一件简单的事。。而是需要很多。。很多的时间。。每当看到他。。我的心里就有不爽的感觉。。很想骂她。。很想说他的是非。。很 想让全世界的人都知道他有多么的令人讨厌。。但在无形中。。我已变成了一个喜欢讲别人是非的人。。我的性格也开始变了。。一开口就讲别人的不好。。就这 样。。也许。。别人对我的看法也渐渐变了。。也许在他们眼中。。我不是一个真心的朋友。。我的朋友也会渐渐的离开我。。就因为憎恨一个人而导致自己有这样 的下场。。值得吗？就因为憎恨一个人，搞得自己的日子越过越辛苦。。每天都受那些无畏的气。。值得吗？我们讨厌他。。只不过是让自己受更多的气。。不要以为我们讨厌他。。他的日子就不好过。。事实上。。他可能根本不知道我们在讨厌着他。。造成日子不好过的是我们自己。。而不是他。。这样更不值得。。

讨厌一个人。。我们或许会更注意他。。不断地在观察他。。然后批评他。。导致我们的时间和精神都花费在他身上。。搞得自己更难受。。我是一个优柔寡断的人。。我无法轻易的忘记一件事。。所以。。我会学习放下。。学习原谅他。。当然。。原谅他不代表他以前所作的事是对的。。也不是我受到的伤害渐渐减少了。。而是我不想再让自己再被这件事困扰着。。好让我活得更自由。。

原谅 他。。并不代表我已忘记之前所发生件事。。事情始终都发生了。。我不可能这么容易就忘记。。我只想放下。。我不想每天再受无畏的气。。也许原谅他。。放下 这件事之后。。我的憎恨心也会慢慢减少。。我正在学习慢慢地放下。。学习慢慢地原谅他。。如果你也有你憎恨的人。。不妨你尝试去放下他。。去原谅他。。也 许你的日子也会过得更开心。。祝福你！

烦。。。

最近不知为何好忙好忙。。忙着忙着。。时间也快不够用了。。好烦。。也许你会发现我时常说烦。。但我真的是好烦。。好多事情正在等着我去做。。在我后面排队。。现在我正在忙着我班的班刊。。我本来希望班刊会在七月前出炉。。但到了现在。。任然还未“出现”。。好烦。。现在正在想着封面要怎么做。。而且我班的“设计师”个个都忙着seni project…真是想到头也快“爆炸” 了。。别人总是不接受我的意见。。到底你要的是什么？而且还有团刊的个人资料和毕业感言还没写。。我不想写了。。不想写了。。至今。。我也还没开始读书。。percubaan spm 也快到了。。我也发现一个月的时间根本不够我用。。我的压力也渐渐来了。。怎么办？。。好烦。。每次一件事来。。肯定会在有另一件事跟着来。。搞得我自己也不知该如何应付。。我现在只希望我班班刊可以早日出炉。。希望班上同学可以多多合作。。好让我安心读书。。

一个我不想要的朋友。。

本来这次即将来临的trip会是一个开心的。。但。。在我身边的却是一个重色轻友的朋友。。真的很失望。。现在它想和他一位男生的朋友跟他一起去trip。。我不想搞得大家不开心。。我只好让他。。导致我必须找另一位朋友来陪我。。怎么办？他根本都不顾我的感受。。这件事真的令我好烦。。好烦。。到底谁会是那位朋友呢？我不知道。。现在我正在寻觅着一个可以陪我的朋友。。好辛苦。。为何我会有一个这样的朋友?为何我那么倒霉？我想找一个可以和我合得来的朋友。。no matter girl or guy..i dun care..but maybe he care..但我现在任然找不到。。身为我的朋友。。他根本不把我放在眼里。。在他眼里。。只有异性朋友。。异性朋友永远排第一。。为何我好选不选。。偏偏选了一个重色轻友的朋友。。就算我倒霉吧。。你会是我的天使吗？你愿意陪我吗？