it is so unbelieveable!!

how you feel about yourself now:
You feel confused, vulnerable and full of doubts, however, all is not as it seems.

what you most want at this moment:
what you most want at this time is for a secret to be revealed, a secret held deep within yourself or another?

your fears:
Ones heart is ruling ones head! You are so afraid of being hurt you are paralysed into non-action. To have or not to have? To stay or to go?

what is going for you:
Call it fate or destiny but the run of good luck or good fortune you are experiencing or about to experience is mostly not of your doing - enjoy this time.

what is going against you:
Life will seem hectic and full of challenges and you will find it hard to have the right perspective on things.

outcome:
Success, fulfillment and conclusion are near at hand - the successful outcome to a venture, satisfaction in a relationship and efforts rewarded.

i'm like the idiot...

i'm like the idiot knowing nothing...

i shouldn't care so much..

all this end with disappointment..

i purposely do that.

I can’t continue with my assignments. I realized many things had happened around me. Everything has changed. Everyone also has changed. Me? Am I different from before?

You are my friend since years ago. But, seems like I don’t know you now. You are so different. I purposely do that. Feel embarrassed? I don’t care. You is the one who give me the chance to do it. I want you to know and to show it to you that I am no longer the former me. I have changed. Changed to the bad? Maybe. Who knows? Anyone know?

谁？

一个一直都在你身边的人，可是却永远不会属于你，这才是真正的痛苦……

执着……

很多人告诉我他很执着，可是，我不了解……

当我真正遇上了……我终于了解了……

执着是固执的结果吗？

为什么会执着呢？

不甘心？放不下？

我真的那么执着吗？

为什么会这样？

我选择，慢慢放下……

lots of thoughts...

First..printer..i need u to be alive...please..i need u so much now...

Second..i can go to bed now..but yet..i don't want to..why?

Third..there are too many things in my mind now..i feel uneasy..

Fourth..i found myself changed..and i m happy and also sad with it...is this a good thing?

Fifth..will be going home soon...very soon..but i am not really happy..again..why?

Sixth..someone irks me today...she borrowed something from me since last sem..but i didnt realise it..and she just keep quiet..i feel so disappointed on her..i dont think she want to give it back to me if i didnt ask for it..she thought that was hers..i feel really really disappointed on her..i dont know whether she know that i knew it already..but i will pretend like i know nothing..and i wont ask for it...i will just keep quiet and see when will she return it to me..but honestly..i dont think she will return it to me again..so..if somedays u irks me again..u will taste it soon! dont u ever try to play with me!

Seventh..why is it so hard to tolerate with u?

Eight..why i just cant let go?

The end.

蒲公英的约定

作词:方文山作曲:周杰伦

小学篱芭旁的蒲公英
是记忆里有味道的风景
午睡操场传来蝉的声音
多少年后也还是很好听
将愿望折纸飞机寄成信
因为我们等不到那流星
认真投决定命运的硬币
却不知道到底能去哪里

一起长大的约定
那样清晰打过勾的我相信
说好要一起旅行
是你如今唯一坚持的任性
在走廊上罚站打手心
我们却注意窗边的蜻蜓
我去到哪里你都跟很紧
很多的梦在等待着进行

一起长大的约定
那样真心
与你聊不完的曾经
而我已经分不清
你是友情还是错过的爱情

08.09.09

how you feel about yourself now

You want love or a new love in your life and a new relationship is in the offering. Even if you are not thinking about love, you’re in for a surprise. If faced with a choice this is an important one and could affect the rest of your life.

what you most want at this moment

what you most want at this time is success and achievement, and the support and influence of perhaps your father, husband/partner or a man of significance in your life who you believe could help.

your fears

You are afraid that things seem too good to be true, so much pleasure and joy - well enjoy it, sometimes we can be pleasantly surprised. If you have been unwell this is a time of rejuvenation and good health. Perhaps you are afraid that things won’t actually get better - have faith you are about to enter a happy and pleasurable time. The Sun heralds an ending to difficulties and a time to celebrate with friends and loved ones, a time of pleasure and good news around children or the conception or birth of a longed-for baby.

what is going for you

Success, fulfillment and conclusion are near at hand - the successful outcome to a venture, satisfaction in a relationship and efforts rewarded. It is a culmination of events and indicates material wealth and greater spiritual awareness. You may choose to buy that dream house or a wonderfully fulfilling relationship is on offer, enjoy!

what is going against you

Your negativity and lack of self control are your real enemies. If you are finding certain addictions in your life are taking a hold, be it smoking or drinking for example, look inward for you hearts true strength and self-belief. Change your attitude and be positive and you will reap great rewards.

outcome

A period of dramatic change and upheaval, however this period of change will herald a new beginning. It is time to re-evaluate - sometimes, as difficult as the disappointment has been to take, change can create new possibilities you never dreamed of. There could be problems relating to your property, or if considering a new property or move, progress will be thwarted.

07.09.09

what you most want at this moment

you most want at this time is a new start, to close this chapter in your life and have a brand new beginning. This is not a time for regret but for rejoicing. Rewards for past efforts will follow and you are sure to have many opportunities presented to you. Life will pick up a pace and the choices you make will have far reaching implications that could change your life dramatically. Any legal issues should be ruled in your favour.

your fears

Ones heart is ruling ones head! You are so afraid of being hurt you are paralysed into non-action. To have or not to have? To stay or to go? Throw caution to the wind, great happiness awaits you if you can trust what you feel and ignore the fear and do it anyway.

what is going for you

Call it fate or destiny but the run of good luck or good fortune you are experiencing or about to experience is mostly not of your doing - enjoy this time. If there seem to be a number of positive coincidences happening in your life this is known as synchronicity, go with the flow and trust it.

what is going against you

You are frozen with fear, lack of nerve and confused as to what it is you actually want. You are allowing all your fears and anxieties to hold you back when you should be opening your mind to new and unexpected possibilities. You do need to be careful however, as there are deceitful people around who may seem charming but are only out for their own gains. If in a clandestine affair beware, your secret may be exposed.

outcome

Open your mind and soul to new possibilities this is a time to realise your full potential, follow your instincts and act on your hunches. A time for spontaneity, fun and surprises. However, be mindful of being too impulsive - your decisions should be based on experience and knowledge of self.

06.09.09

how you feel about yourself now

You feel that the disruption and sweeping change you are going through, or fear you are about to go through, will be catastrophic. You need to recognise that such upheaval can force new directions that you never dreamed possible. Subconsciously you may have wanted change, but as is often the case, the solution isn’t always as we expect. There could be problems relating to your property, or if considering a new property or move, progress will be thwarted.

what you most want at this moment

The cards suggest apple, that what you most want at this time is some good fortune, a bright and happy future. If you have been ill, suffered bereavement or disappointment in love, your luck is about to change. This is your wish card - it will bring happiness, fulfilment and good health - you may also receive a gift or gifts!

your fears

You are in fear of everything turning for the worse for you, perhaps you are experiencing a run of bad luck. You have to trust that most of what we fear never happens and as The Wheel of Fortune turns downwards against you, the wheel will naturally turn upwards again and bring good fortune to you too. This difficult phase will pass.

what is going for you

Success, fulfillment and conclusion are near at hand - the successful outcome to a venture, satisfaction in a relationship and efforts rewarded. It is a culmination of events and indicates material wealth and greater spiritual awareness. You may choose to buy that dream house or a wonderfully fulfilling relationship is on offer, enjoy!

what is going against you

It's like you’re in a drug-induced haze - it feels great and always leaves you wanting more. This is addiction pure and simple, whether it's an obsessive sexual relationship, money deals that are too good to be true, materialism at any cost or recreational drugs. Take care - it won’t lead to a happy ending.

outcome

This is a truly creative and fertile time. Expect the best if you are considering having a child, creating a new job or business opportunity or starting a creative project. The Empress symbolizes abundance, joy and happiness, and reassurance - a firm foundation for future progress.

regret? no...

Suddenly...i feel regret, of my choice. Why? Should i regret? no...coz..i dont have other way to go..or...maybe...haha...

Why? Why i always feel like this? My choice is not good enough? I think about it over and over again. I shouldn't feel like this. I enjoy my life now...but why am i still feeling regret? Maybe, my life is not as good as i think...

Because of my choice..I have been to where i never been before..which i think i would have never been there if i have chosen another path...which were great trips for me! Then, should i regret? Do i have any reason to regret? Blamming my dad for sending me here? Or..

since...

Holiday is coming. But, i m not going home. I m forced to go to kl for merdeka.I didnt write a long post for quite a long time already..

My assignments are almost done..so i have the time to write something here. Many things happened. I could hardly say how i feel now. I feel kinda tired..and a little bit down.

Somehow, i miss my friends. I wanted to meet them. But i could hardly do that. Not to say that i m not happy with my friends here. They are good friends and i am glad to know them. Just that, i miss my old friends. I remembered the time we spent togather. It was..undescriable.

How about my family? I fall sick last week. And..i went to see the doctor. That was the first time i visit the doctor without the company of my family. I m alone. My parents called me, especially my mom. She wanted to come here and bring me to see the doctor but i rejected. Just dont want her to worry about me. She called me many many times. And..i cried..silently in the clinic. Mom, i love you. I feel it. Mom, do u know why i dont like to go home? I guess u dont know about that. I know that you are not 'controlling' me..but u just worry about me..I hope that u can put more trust on me..

What happened to me? I m like talking nonsense. I have mixed feeling. i found that my life is a bit different now. But, i cant really point out what is the different. Maybe, is only my thinking. Assignments..presentations seem to be parts of my life. Sometimes, i m quite tired of it. What should i do next?

Disappointed..

i'm disappointed..

for what you have done..
all just out of my expectations..

i don't want to lose a friend..
just i don't know what else i can do..

解决

分清界线·烦恼再见

无言

失望，是因为期望太高……
觉得自己太天真了……
竟然把人家不在乎的事当真……

我太傻了，
我想我因该知道
接下来的路该怎么走……

彷徨·无助……

是谁？突然走进了我的世界……
是谁？让我迟疑了很久……

我……该怎么面对？
我……是否做错了？
我……太残忍了？

一个月过去了，
一直都在彷徨……
我感觉很无助……
我好像……浪费了很多时间……

下一步……我该怎么走，才能走得无悔？

I don't know

I don't know...

that..

u hate her so much..

and..

i m shocked...

thank you for being honest..

i appreciate it..

I miss u...

Friends..

although u are far apart from me..

but..

u will be always in my heart..

i miss u all...

take care..

Feeling tired...

Feel really tired...

although it is just the second day...

maybe...

the timetable is too packed...

don't like it...

hope this week end quickly...