Escape

Today, my mum told me something
which i can't accept it
i knew it since years ago
i thought myself already accept it
but
actually
i CAN'T
when i think of it
tears are running in my eyes
i hope that it was not true
i know
i will know it one day
now
i need time to accept it
please give me some time

what happened to u, my dear friend?

i'm proud to have u as my best friend
thanks for your sharing
although i can't really read your mind
friend, i hope that you will be happy
no matter what happened
i will always be there for u
good luck to u~

Think...

When something out of our expectations happened, we will shock? happy? sad? cry? laugh? n bla bla bla...no matter we like it or not, it was already happened.

The problem is can we accept it with a smile? Or...Oh my God! why? why like this..why like that? If i...if i know...what? Regret? There is no 'if' in this realistic world...

How we think? positie? negative? i'm a negative thinker. i want to change. i tried but i failed. hah. lousy me. Is it think positively will make me a happier person? i dont know. since i failed to think..positive.hah. why is it so hard to change our thinking. the way we think. is it really bad to be a negative thinker?

I'm back!

I visited someone's blog today..know him more than one year but we dont even talk more than 10 words i think. haha..(sure u will laugh at me when u see this. haha.)

It was a long way since i start blogging. But i seldom blog. It depends on my mood. Sometimes i am too lazy to update it. haha..I finished my foundation in teaching. It was fast and great. Gone through many things, many incidents that i havnt met before..so who am i now? haha..

Next sem will be a tough one. I think so. BIG..SPE..are lining up behind me. No matter i like it or not, i have to go through it. Will be back to campus next week..happy or sad? haha..both..

我错了吗？

一直以来，我都以为只要做回自己，自己快乐，朋友也快乐。身边的朋友不必隐瞒什么，只要真心对待就好。

可是现在我才发现，做回自己有时候反而会给人家觉得太直接，无形中伤害了他人，自己都不知道。我错了吗？

what else can i say?

I am speechless. Feeling disappointed.

regret...

I hate the feeling of regret..I shouldn't have make the wrong decision..What else can I say? It is already too late..

Should I tell her honestly? I am an irresponsible person?

I don't have the mood to attend. I am not happy with it...and..I hate it..

What should I do? Accept? Reject? Find Excuses?

The day is coming soon..very very soon! I have to decide!

try this

http://www.quizbox.com/personality/test82.aspx

Your view on yourself:
You are intelligent, honest and sweet. You are friendly to everybody and don't like conflict. Because you're so cheerful and fun people are naturally attracted to you and like to talk to you.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:
You are a true romantic. When you are in love, you will do anything and everything to keep your love true.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:
You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person.

The seriousness of your love:
You like to flirt and behave seductively. The opposite sex finds this very attractive, and that's why you'll always have admirers hanging off your arms. But how serious are you about choosing someone to be in a relationship with?

Your views on education
Education is less important than the real world out there, away from the classroom. Deep inside you want to start working, earning money and living on your own.

The right job for you:
You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life.

How do you view success:
You are afraid of failure and scared to have a go at the career you would like to have in case you don't succeed. Don't give up when you haven't yet even started! Be courageous.

What are you most afraid of:
You are afraid of things that you cannot control. Sometimes you show your anger to cover up how you feel.

Who is your true self:
You are mature, reasonable, honest and give good advice. People ask for your comments on all sorts of different issues. Sometimes you might find yourself in a dilemma when trapped with a problem, which your heart rather than your head needs to solve.

Disappointed...

Thought that I can go home this weekend...
I need a rest before final exam..
But the reality seems to disappoint me..
Why?
Everytime when i put too much hope on something, it will disappoint me finally..

I want to go home......

sometimes

Sometimes, it is hard. When someone don't understand you. You showed your attitude, but yet, she can't catch it.

Someone keep on 'following' me these days. Oops..not days, is months! Feeling very frustrated. But yet, i don't know how to reject. I scared she get hurt. Someone that is too good to be reject. Then how? This is not called friendship, is called sympathize. I felt sympathy on her and that's why i'm scared to reject.

When she appeared in front of me, my mood changed immediately. I become down, feeling don't want to talk much. Why? Why I can change so fast because of someone?
Is not fair to me right? I can't stop her from appearing in front of me everyday. She is too 'close' to me. I can't stop her from following me!

She is disturbing my life. So much! Because of her, I almost neglected my friends. Why? That's why I said sometimes friendship problems can be much more worse than relationship problems. I don't want my life to be like that. But I don't know how to get rid of her! You can't force me to be so good with you! You are so annoying!

it is so unbelieveable!!

how you feel about yourself now:
You feel confused, vulnerable and full of doubts, however, all is not as it seems.

what you most want at this moment:
what you most want at this time is for a secret to be revealed, a secret held deep within yourself or another?

your fears:
Ones heart is ruling ones head! You are so afraid of being hurt you are paralysed into non-action. To have or not to have? To stay or to go?

what is going for you:
Call it fate or destiny but the run of good luck or good fortune you are experiencing or about to experience is mostly not of your doing - enjoy this time.

what is going against you:
Life will seem hectic and full of challenges and you will find it hard to have the right perspective on things.

outcome:
Success, fulfillment and conclusion are near at hand - the successful outcome to a venture, satisfaction in a relationship and efforts rewarded.

i'm like the idiot...

i'm like the idiot knowing nothing...

i shouldn't care so much..

all this end with disappointment..

i purposely do that.

I can’t continue with my assignments. I realized many things had happened around me. Everything has changed. Everyone also has changed. Me? Am I different from before?

You are my friend since years ago. But, seems like I don’t know you now. You are so different. I purposely do that. Feel embarrassed? I don’t care. You is the one who give me the chance to do it. I want you to know and to show it to you that I am no longer the former me. I have changed. Changed to the bad? Maybe. Who knows? Anyone know?

谁？

一个一直都在你身边的人，可是却永远不会属于你，这才是真正的痛苦……

执着……

很多人告诉我他很执着，可是，我不了解……

当我真正遇上了……我终于了解了……

执着是固执的结果吗？

为什么会执着呢？

不甘心？放不下？

我真的那么执着吗？

为什么会这样？

我选择，慢慢放下……

lots of thoughts...

First..printer..i need u to be alive...please..i need u so much now...

Second..i can go to bed now..but yet..i don't want to..why?

Third..there are too many things in my mind now..i feel uneasy..

Fourth..i found myself changed..and i m happy and also sad with it...is this a good thing?

Fifth..will be going home soon...very soon..but i am not really happy..again..why?

Sixth..someone irks me today...she borrowed something from me since last sem..but i didnt realise it..and she just keep quiet..i feel so disappointed on her..i dont think she want to give it back to me if i didnt ask for it..she thought that was hers..i feel really really disappointed on her..i dont know whether she know that i knew it already..but i will pretend like i know nothing..and i wont ask for it...i will just keep quiet and see when will she return it to me..but honestly..i dont think she will return it to me again..so..if somedays u irks me again..u will taste it soon! dont u ever try to play with me!

Seventh..why is it so hard to tolerate with u?

Eight..why i just cant let go?

The end.

蒲公英的约定

作词:方文山作曲:周杰伦

小学篱芭旁的蒲公英
是记忆里有味道的风景
午睡操场传来蝉的声音
多少年后也还是很好听
将愿望折纸飞机寄成信
因为我们等不到那流星
认真投决定命运的硬币
却不知道到底能去哪里

一起长大的约定
那样清晰打过勾的我相信
说好要一起旅行
是你如今唯一坚持的任性
在走廊上罚站打手心
我们却注意窗边的蜻蜓
我去到哪里你都跟很紧
很多的梦在等待着进行

一起长大的约定
那样真心
与你聊不完的曾经
而我已经分不清
你是友情还是错过的爱情

08.09.09

how you feel about yourself now

You want love or a new love in your life and a new relationship is in the offering. Even if you are not thinking about love, you’re in for a surprise. If faced with a choice this is an important one and could affect the rest of your life.

what you most want at this moment

what you most want at this time is success and achievement, and the support and influence of perhaps your father, husband/partner or a man of significance in your life who you believe could help.

your fears

You are afraid that things seem too good to be true, so much pleasure and joy - well enjoy it, sometimes we can be pleasantly surprised. If you have been unwell this is a time of rejuvenation and good health. Perhaps you are afraid that things won’t actually get better - have faith you are about to enter a happy and pleasurable time. The Sun heralds an ending to difficulties and a time to celebrate with friends and loved ones, a time of pleasure and good news around children or the conception or birth of a longed-for baby.

what is going for you

Success, fulfillment and conclusion are near at hand - the successful outcome to a venture, satisfaction in a relationship and efforts rewarded. It is a culmination of events and indicates material wealth and greater spiritual awareness. You may choose to buy that dream house or a wonderfully fulfilling relationship is on offer, enjoy!

what is going against you

Your negativity and lack of self control are your real enemies. If you are finding certain addictions in your life are taking a hold, be it smoking or drinking for example, look inward for you hearts true strength and self-belief. Change your attitude and be positive and you will reap great rewards.

outcome

A period of dramatic change and upheaval, however this period of change will herald a new beginning. It is time to re-evaluate - sometimes, as difficult as the disappointment has been to take, change can create new possibilities you never dreamed of. There could be problems relating to your property, or if considering a new property or move, progress will be thwarted.

07.09.09

what you most want at this moment

you most want at this time is a new start, to close this chapter in your life and have a brand new beginning. This is not a time for regret but for rejoicing. Rewards for past efforts will follow and you are sure to have many opportunities presented to you. Life will pick up a pace and the choices you make will have far reaching implications that could change your life dramatically. Any legal issues should be ruled in your favour.

your fears

Ones heart is ruling ones head! You are so afraid of being hurt you are paralysed into non-action. To have or not to have? To stay or to go? Throw caution to the wind, great happiness awaits you if you can trust what you feel and ignore the fear and do it anyway.

what is going for you

Call it fate or destiny but the run of good luck or good fortune you are experiencing or about to experience is mostly not of your doing - enjoy this time. If there seem to be a number of positive coincidences happening in your life this is known as synchronicity, go with the flow and trust it.

what is going against you

You are frozen with fear, lack of nerve and confused as to what it is you actually want. You are allowing all your fears and anxieties to hold you back when you should be opening your mind to new and unexpected possibilities. You do need to be careful however, as there are deceitful people around who may seem charming but are only out for their own gains. If in a clandestine affair beware, your secret may be exposed.

outcome

Open your mind and soul to new possibilities this is a time to realise your full potential, follow your instincts and act on your hunches. A time for spontaneity, fun and surprises. However, be mindful of being too impulsive - your decisions should be based on experience and knowledge of self.

06.09.09

how you feel about yourself now

You feel that the disruption and sweeping change you are going through, or fear you are about to go through, will be catastrophic. You need to recognise that such upheaval can force new directions that you never dreamed possible. Subconsciously you may have wanted change, but as is often the case, the solution isn’t always as we expect. There could be problems relating to your property, or if considering a new property or move, progress will be thwarted.

what you most want at this moment

The cards suggest apple, that what you most want at this time is some good fortune, a bright and happy future. If you have been ill, suffered bereavement or disappointment in love, your luck is about to change. This is your wish card - it will bring happiness, fulfilment and good health - you may also receive a gift or gifts!

your fears

You are in fear of everything turning for the worse for you, perhaps you are experiencing a run of bad luck. You have to trust that most of what we fear never happens and as The Wheel of Fortune turns downwards against you, the wheel will naturally turn upwards again and bring good fortune to you too. This difficult phase will pass.

what is going for you

Success, fulfillment and conclusion are near at hand - the successful outcome to a venture, satisfaction in a relationship and efforts rewarded. It is a culmination of events and indicates material wealth and greater spiritual awareness. You may choose to buy that dream house or a wonderfully fulfilling relationship is on offer, enjoy!

what is going against you

It's like you’re in a drug-induced haze - it feels great and always leaves you wanting more. This is addiction pure and simple, whether it's an obsessive sexual relationship, money deals that are too good to be true, materialism at any cost or recreational drugs. Take care - it won’t lead to a happy ending.

outcome

This is a truly creative and fertile time. Expect the best if you are considering having a child, creating a new job or business opportunity or starting a creative project. The Empress symbolizes abundance, joy and happiness, and reassurance - a firm foundation for future progress.