人家说……

人家说：你对别人好，别人不一定会对你好。

今天，我终于感受到这种滋味……

自由？

虽然口口声声说不想呆在家，在家没自由。但到了今天，真的要走了，反而觉得很不舍。

还想继续呆在家，逃避现实生活……

bleeding heart...

很失落，很伤心。除了疗伤，我还能怎样？以为陪妈妈去逛街可以散散心，其实是没用的。坐在车上，眼泪自动地流了下来。可是又不能让妈妈知道，又快快把眼泪擦掉。这种感觉好痛苦，我要快快摆脱它。

为何我要为了一个无畏的东西而烦？我就不能看开一点吗？自己在默默的心痛，有用吗？

烦恼

烦恼啊！怎么我好像永远摆脱不了你。烦完了一个又一个。人家说，只要要求别那么高，别在意那么多，烦恼就会减少，可是有时候就是过不了自己那一关。自寻烦恼，这句话是真的。

这个烦恼，纠缠了我很久。有时多，有时少。总是摆脱不了他。为何我就是不能知足常乐？我会告诉人家，知足常乐。可是，我自己子会讲，根本不明白这句话的真正意思。我哪有资格安慰人家知足常乐？

迷失……

找了那么久
总算
找到答案了
可是
却失去了方向
失去了目标
生活也好像失去了意义

我相信时间
可以让我找回方向、目标……
我也不懂我还需要多少时间……

答案

想了好久
烦了好久
只为了要一个
答案……

Can't stop thinking...

Everytime this incident flashed across my mind
i started think
in a negative way

i feel
deeply sad
no other words can describe my feeling
it is hurt
really really deep

it is so close to me
but
i can't take it
i can't get it
it is
torturing!

我……走错路了吗？

原本想将来可以过着轻松的生活
所以选择了教育界

但是

事实证明
这条路
比我想象中难几千倍、几万倍……
我……
后悔了吗？

以前看着老师们
个个可以有很多时间陪家人
工作时间只是半天
没有好像在公司上班的
从早到晚
教育界
原来不是我想象的那么简单！

后悔了？ 哈哈……
原本一点兴趣也没有的我……
慢慢的建立起来了
至少
至少总算有一点点兴趣
还需要些，时间

既然选择了
后悔也没用
没有回头路
只能向前走

My heart is bleeding profusely...

Yes yes yes...
the reality is so cruel...
unexpected? shocked?
what else can i do?

我……变了……

最近脾气很暴躁
一点点小事就大骂
一点点小事就埋怨
一点点小事……就失去理智

无形中
变成了一个没有耐性的人
变成了一个……
我都不能接受我自己的人……

怎么办？
有些事情真的看不过眼
不讲也不是
讲了又不是

真的很烦……很烦……

面子……

我知道，我很在意自己的面子
但是
我才知道，我是多么的在意

一些事情
让我很伤心
面子有那么重要吗？

有人说
不要在意别人怎样看
做自己想做的就对了
可是我做不到
做着自己想要的
可是
我还是很在意

Delete...

I can delete everything
but
i cant delete something in my mind

it is already embedded in my mind
since..i'm not sure when

but now
i wish i can delete it

i can't
unless
i lost my memory...

不在乎……

不知道什么时候
我变得那么不在乎

为何要在乎那么多
你是谁
你不需要我的在乎
你只需要他的在乎

问也不问多一句
写也不所写一些
就是不想在乎
就是不想关心

到底我要什么？

Yes i can!

Yesterday
was a miracle

i will step out
very soon
add oil to myself...

Will you still find me if I stop disturbing you?

I found this post from my friend's fb status
Someone flashed across my mind
In my guess, the answer is NO...

I deleted almost everything
I thrown almost everything
I hide it from my sight
What i can't delete is..our memories..
Which embedded in my mind for a long time ago..till now...

Will you still find me if I stop disturbing you?
Will you still find me if didn't borrow something from you?
Will you still find me if I have nothing to give you?
Will you still find me FOR NOTHING?

Shontelle Impossible

I remember years ago
Someone told me I should take
Caution when it comes to love
I did, I did
And you were strong and I was not
My illusion, my mistake
I was careless, I forgot
I did
And now when all is done
There is nothing to say
You have gone and so effortlessly
You have won
You can go ahead tell them

Tell them all I know now
Shout it from the roof top
Write it on the sky love
All we had is gone now
Tell them I was happy
And my heart is broken
All my scars are open
Tell them what I hoped would be
Impossible, impossible
Impossible, impossible

Falling out of love is hard
Falling for betrayal is worst
Broken trust and broken hearts
I know, I know
Thinking all you need is there
Building faith on love is worst
Empty promises will wear
I know (i know)
And know when all is gone
There is nothing to say
And if you're done with embarrassing me
On your own you can go ahead tell them

Tell them all I know now
Shout it from the roof top
Write it on the sky love
All we had is gone now
Tell them I was happy
And my heart is broken
All my scars are open
Tell them what I hoped would be
Impossible, impossible
Impossible, impossible
Impossible, impossible
Impossible, impossible
Impossible, impossible

Ooh impossible (yeah yeah)

I remember years ago
Someone told me I should take
Caution when it comes to love
I did

Tell them all I know now
Shout it from the roof top
Write it on the sky love
All we had is gone now
Tell them I was happy (i was happy)
And my heart is broken
All my scars are open
Tell them what I hoped would be
Impossible, impossible
Impossible, impossible
Impossible, impossible
Impossible, impossible
Impossible, impossible

I remember years ago
Someone told me I should take
Caution when it comes to love
I did

a simple answer

a simple answer
makes me think twice
even more than twice

what is your hidden answer?

same..

days passed
but it is still the same

Yea...

Don't know why
Today,
I'm really happy.
Will tomorrow be the same like today?

Friends,
I love u all very much..

If you LOVE something

If you love something
let It be free
to decide
whether to come
or to go

If It comes to you
It loves you too
Accept it, with an open heart

If It goes away
It does not want to hurt you
Accept it too
but not with a broken heart