WHY??

为什么我长得越大……烦恼就越多……

为什么人总是有那么多的意见？

为什么人人都要我们去配合他们？

为什么你总是认为自己永远是对的？

为什么你就不能体谅别人？

为什么我要因为你而改变大局？

为什么你就不能站在我的立场想想吗？

我快要崩溃了……

但我知道我不能这样……

我一定要撑下去……

我好希望你在我生活中……永远消失……

Oh my God...

I know she is a good friend sometimes…
I know she think that I have changed…
I know she know that some people hate her…
I know she dislike somebody very much…
I know she is so sensitive…

I dunno how to tolerate with her…
I dunno what to do with her…
I dunno what’s wrong with her…
I dunno what will happen next to her…

I wanna shout at her in front of everyone …
I wanna slap her…
I wanna walk out of her life…

I don’t care what she think of me…
I don’t care how she describe me…
I don’t care if everybody hate her…
I don’t care if she still wanna be friend with me…

I am fed up with her…
I am not who I am anymore…

50-50

I am confused…

The teacher and the president of Buddha Society year 06/07 want me to be the president of year 07/08…what can I do? Accept? Refuse?

Buddha Society is not the same as other society…because…we have ‘shi fu’ (师父)…we can’t simply plan the activities that we want but we have to plan something according to Buddha taught…this is the main problem…for example…if I am the president of English Society…I can plan any activities that I want (I can plan n do what I want because I am the president)…but if I am the president of Buddha Society(I have to follow their plan…don’t want to follow also can…but…to me is like ‘derhaka’…actually i dunno how to reject someone's ideas...expecially shi fu's n teacher's ideas..)…

I am under stress…I have no confident actually…but I will try my best…

Hmm...

就在刚才……我受到了他（已和我相处了两年的朋友）的信息……他告诉我……他得matrikulasi了……明天就要去了……我当时的心情就是非常非常得难受……我的心好痛……好像失去某种东西的感觉……很无助……

我想了整个下午……心情很差……我为了不让父母知道我的心情……就一个人躲在房间里……借口是看故事书……就在那个时候……我想了好多好多东西……哭也哭过了……我也已接受了这个现实……“人总是要接受现实的……虽然很痛……但一下子就会过去了……”这句是我从一部电视剧的对白学到的……觉得他讲得也有道理……一直都记在心里……

也在这个时候……我发现我一直都依赖着他……想了整个下午……我也相通了……我也很清楚我下一步要怎么走下去……

Orientation Day...

Orientation Day – great!

I reached school at about 7am…I looked around…none of them wearing t-shirt(means they are not form 6 students)…I seemed like an ‘alien’ walking around the school seeking for another ‘alien’..haha…only at about 7.15am I saw another ‘alien’…huhh…am I too early?

After that was ice breaking. At first, there were only 6 people(including me) in my group…kesian…then 3 people come and join my group…group’s name is ‘wu xian’(unlimited)…yen yen and xiang wei same group with me…

There was a game that we have to search something (symbol, drawing or words) that can be found in our school compound…only that I know that there are many things that I dunno or didn’t even realize although I study in this school for 5 years!! Aiks..aiks…

Then was station game where we need cooperation…one of the game that remain ‘geli’ in my mind is we have to eat something look and taste geli (mixture of banana, milo and water)..imagine that…we have to use the straw to suck the ‘things’…actually the taste is not that bad…but the colour is sooo geli…yuck…

What a great experience!!

Second day in school...

I am in L6S2…

There is only 26 students in my class…yeah…I like this…I hope the school won’t combine L6S1 n S2…

My class teacher is…is…is…Mr. …..(5A1’06 class teacher!!) omg!!

Mr. Teoh : Your class teacher is Mr….

L6S2 students : Harrrrrrrrrrr…..!!

Let me introduce to u my classmates…

Emm…shy chyi, khuan ning, lip pang, kok jie, jane ying, xin tian, nicholas, bai qin, cheng you, boon khai, hooi ann, cindy, wan li, sue lyn, kar suan, kooi shen, kang ding, wei yuan, shi mei…the rest…I m not very sure, some of then are from other schools…

Tomorrow is orientation day!! Yeah!!

My brand new life...

My new life had just started…

I wake up at 6am in the morning…the first thing…bath! Then bla bla…including tie my hair (hehe..susahnye..the first time I tie my hair b4 going to school mer..=.=) I thought I can done everything in 30 minutes…but…aiya…the time is already 6.30am n I still haven’t come my hair, wear my shoes, tie n …I have to go out early because my dad is the driver…if not… dad might be late to school (kesian…=.=)…I panicked…no choice liao ar…take my rubber band, ribbon as well as comb(most important…) n also my shoes…reach school…my first destination - school toilet!! Haha…

At about 7am…done!! Go to the front of my school hall…to see whether chyi was already there…saw xinyi n zi yang(chua)…about 5 minutes later…saw chyi with her untied hair…

‘ping! Give me the rubber band!! No time liao…quick…go to the toilet(toilet again…=.=)!’

7.30am…we all gathered in school hall…there are students from keat hwa II and Sharifah Roziah…I choose biology class…I will die if continue study physic…hehe…

Really loooong briefing….damn boring…but quite useful…hehe…

Thats all…

U all(my x classmate) wanna know who I saw today?

*wan yen, woan chin, wan teng, xiang wei, shu jou, khuan ning, chu siang, kok jie, ching ying, xiao wei, jia xin, wan li, jane ying, elisabeth, xinyi, zhi sheng, lip pang, ying ying, xin tian, hooi ann, hooi ling, jin xuan, zi hong…I think is enough ady la hor…=)

To be continue…