得=失？

好执着的得失心
世界每天都在改变
拥有，也会失去
没有拥有，就没有失去
可是
我们总是想要拥有……

Can't stop thinking...

Everytime this incident flashed across my mind
i started think
in a negative way

i feel
deeply sad
no other words can describe my feeling
it is hurt
really really deep

it is so close to me
but
i can't take it
i can't get it
it is
torturing!

我……走错路了吗？

原本想将来可以过着轻松的生活
所以选择了教育界

但是

事实证明
这条路
比我想象中难几千倍、几万倍……
我……
后悔了吗？

以前看着老师们
个个可以有很多时间陪家人
工作时间只是半天
没有好像在公司上班的
从早到晚
教育界
原来不是我想象的那么简单！

后悔了？ 哈哈……
原本一点兴趣也没有的我……
慢慢的建立起来了
至少
至少总算有一点点兴趣
还需要些，时间

既然选择了
后悔也没用
没有回头路
只能向前走

My heart is bleeding profusely...

Yes yes yes...
the reality is so cruel...
unexpected? shocked?
what else can i do?

Will you still find me if I stop disturbing you?

I found this post from my friend's fb status
Someone flashed across my mind
In my guess, the answer is NO...

I deleted almost everything
I thrown almost everything
I hide it from my sight
What i can't delete is..our memories..
Which embedded in my mind for a long time ago..till now...

Will you still find me if I stop disturbing you?
Will you still find me if didn't borrow something from you?
Will you still find me if I have nothing to give you?
Will you still find me FOR NOTHING?

Rainy day...

Somehow, i like rainy day
it makes me feel calm

rainy day equal to sad day?
i don't think so

enjoy hearing the rain drops
fall on the roof

although sometimes it brings inconvenience
but i like it

When I...

When i wait for the word
u didn't say it

When i didn't wait for it anymore
u say it

what should i respond?

Stress

I have gone through a week
with much stress
that
i can't believe it

i need to manage it
but i'm still finding the right way

stress make me mad
stress make me cry
stress make me feel that life is so
-meaningless-

Forced

when you are forced to do something you don't like
it feel bad
it is torturing
and yet it wont bring satisfactions

so why not try to like it?
yes, i should like it
slowly...

Escape

Today, my mum told me something
which i can't accept it
i knew it since years ago
i thought myself already accept it
but
actually
i CAN'T
when i think of it
tears are running in my eyes
i hope that it was not true
i know
i will know it one day
now
i need time to accept it
please give me some time

what happened to u, my dear friend?

i'm proud to have u as my best friend
thanks for your sharing
although i can't really read your mind
friend, i hope that you will be happy
no matter what happened
i will always be there for u
good luck to u~

Think...

When something out of our expectations happened, we will shock? happy? sad? cry? laugh? n bla bla bla...no matter we like it or not, it was already happened.

The problem is can we accept it with a smile? Or...Oh my God! why? why like this..why like that? If i...if i know...what? Regret? There is no 'if' in this realistic world...

How we think? positie? negative? i'm a negative thinker. i want to change. i tried but i failed. hah. lousy me. Is it think positively will make me a happier person? i dont know. since i failed to think..positive.hah. why is it so hard to change our thinking. the way we think. is it really bad to be a negative thinker?

Yes...

Yes...

this is what you get from what you have done...

unexpected?

or...

expected?

can accept it?

or...

can't accept...

angry?

if you are angry...

then i will laugh at you...

hahahahaha....

What?

Sometimes...it is really confused...
Sometime...it hurts...
Sometimes...it is tiring...
Sometimes...i don't really care about it...

Am i a great friend?
Am i satisfied all my friends?
Am i very selfish?
Am i wrong?

What is the best way?
Who do you think you are?
What is your problem?
What do you want from me?

I am shocked...
I am speechless...
I don't know how to move on...
I don't really want to involve in it...

Can i left halfway?
Can i just keep quiet?
Can i pretend that nothing happened?
Can i scold you?

You think you are right in everything?
You think i am on your side?
You know how i feel?
You want me to tell you the truth?

No...i will keep it as my secret...
No...i won't share with anyone...
No...i want you to wake up...
No...i am not like what you think...

So...let the time to prove it...

Who else but a friend is there...

to believe in you,

to share your joys ,

to dry your tears ,

to give you hope ,

to comfort your hurts ,

to listen ,

to laugh with you ,

to show you a better way ,

to tell you the truth ,

to encourage you .

Who else can do that for you ?

That's what friends are for .

Stress...stress...stress!!

What am i doing now? I dunno...

What i know is...exam is coming very very soon!! Argh....

I m going mad...

过去了……

终于……都过去了……感觉好轻松……好开心……

下次请你别这样了……我真的好担心……担心你真的离开了……

我会永远爱你……

害怕……

昨天，我接了一通妹妹打来的电话……

我感到好害怕……我好害怕会失去他……到底它发生了什么事？怎么突然会有这样的反应……

我不希望他在我生命中就这样走了……我好想见他……可是我现在身不由己……我只能默默的哭泣……

It comes slowly...

I enjoy too much since middle of July....

Now...the stress...comes slowly...slowly....so scary...

Exam is coming soon...i don't even read a word yet...because...assignments...

I hope that i can finish my assignments smoothly n start study!!

Ahhhh......

Tired...

Yes...i m so tired...assignments? not really...busy playing? maybe....

I can't sleep early...just that...i feel not worth to do so...i found that myself has changed...better? or worsen? ermm...50-50...

I wanted to cry...but...i can't...can someone tell me how to continue my life?